A million miles close

I live

A thousand miles from her

And never been 

To the same places

Never met the same people

Never read the same books

Never heard of each other

Till recently

So one night I looked her up

Her name came up

And I saw what she did

And suddenly I was her

I was young before

Though at 17 I felt 64

But I was young in a young body

In a ruthless world

We both live in

And I understand all of her logic

All that she wants

All the fun

Attention

And sweetness

Satisfaction 

From the cheer 

And the approval

And the voices

I see myself doing what she did

Merely 12 years ago

We live a million miles away

Another million differences

Between us

But I was her

She is me

Doing all I wanted

To get

Somehow I understand it all

But  i can't see the end

I can smell the evil

But can't tell where it's coming from

All I know is I know her

She was me

I was her

Deep inside

I wanted the attention

I wanted to do it all

I wanted them to look at me

I wanted them to cheer at me

I wanted them to smile and say 

I'm pretty 

And they like me

I understand the feeling

But I do wish her well

Though she seems like she's in hell

On earth