"Excellent Reminder:
Ten Commandments for Those Over 50 Years Old For those that are already 50, start practicing.
For those almost 50, get ready.
For those where 50 is a long way off, help your parents by sharing these gems with them.
1. Focus on enjoying people, not on indulging in or accumulating material things.
2. Plan to spend whatever you have saved. You deserve to enjoy it and the few healthy years you have left. Travel if you can afford it. Don't leave anything for your children or loved ones to quarrel about. By leaving something, you may even cause more trouble when you are gone.
3. Live in the here and now,not in the yesterdays and tomorrows. It is only today that you can handle.Yesterday is gone, tomorrow may not even happen.
4. Enjoy your grandchildren (if blessed with any) but don't be their full time baby sitter. You have no moral obligation to take care of them. Don't have any guilt about refusing to baby sit anyone's kids, including your own grandkids. Your parental obligation is to your children. After you have raised them into responsible adults, your duties of child-rearing and babysitting are finished. Let your children raise their own off-springs.
5. Accept physical weakness, sickness and other physical pains. It is a part of the ageing process. Enjoy whatever your health can allow..
6. Enjoy what you are and what you have right now. Stop working hard for what you do not have. If you don't have them, it's probably too late.
7. Enjoy your life with your spouse, children, grandchildren and friends. People, who truly love you, love you for yourself, not for what you have. Anyone who loves you for what you have will just give you misery. And you'd probably know that by now.
8. Forgive and accept forgiveness. Forgive yourself and others. Enjoy peace of mind and peace of soul.
9. Not trying to be morbid, but befriend death. It's a natural part of the life cycle. Don't be afraid of it. Death is the beginning of a new and better life. So, prepare yourself not for death but for a new life with the Almighty.
10. Be at peace with your Creator. For ..... He is all you have after you leave this sojourn on earth."
My bilingual comment for point number 4:
Saya mahu mengulas point Nombor 4 dengan panjang lebar. let your children be parents of their own person, research and style. Setiap parents ada "zaman" dia, dan setiap anak ada zaman dia. Setiap orang, ada journey tersendiri dia, ada ups and downs dia.
Cuba kita fikirkan, apakah kesan kita cakap dengan cucu kita "Ummi/abi tak kasi takpe, nenek kasi". Kesannya ialah Kita secara indirect mengajar cucu kita, "you don't have to listen to your parents."
Please , grandmothers and grandfathers , jangan jadi sebab indirect cucu2 derhaka kepada ibubapa mereka suatu hari nanti sebab mereka tak perlu obey rules mak ayah mereka sebab kehendak mereka di iya kan nenek, atuk, makcik, pakcik, etc mereka.
Kedua, setiap anak ada zaman nya dan tahapan nya, mungkin kalian lupa, jadi jangan lah guris perasaan anak2 dan menantu dgn kata2 seperti "dulu anak2 kami masa kecil takde perangai macam ni". (Perangai macam ni: panjat sana sini, lompat sana sini, etc. Please rujuk point di bawah pasal makanan bergula)
Really? Anak kecil ialah anak kecil, kalau ya pun obviously orientation hidup zaman 80s dulu lain dengan orientation hidup zaman 2000 ke depan, we are all trying to make the outdoors safer and more secure for kids to play in, so if you have grandkids, and want them to play inside the house, kena faham lah inside the house akan jadi macamana bila ada anak kecik di dalam nya, dan macamana perangai anak kecik terkurung dalam rumah.
Kalau suka cucu datang rumah, kena jadikan rumah "child friendly"... Kalau tak jangan la pulak nak anak dan menantu awasi cucu tu 100%, dan tak rela pula ada barang yang terkorban kepada cucu. Saya cakap macam ni, bukan saya tak admit memang ada ANAK dan MENANTU yang memang ZERO PARENTING SKILLS AKIBAT PANDAI SANGAT BELAJAR DI UNIVERSITY kerana ITU LAH ORIENTATION ZAMAN 80s dan 90s for SOME families. They were teens and young adults who were asked to focus on studying and end up not getting other valuable things besides "good grades". Not sorry to say. Or perhaps they're just still learning to become parents, so relax lah. YOU ALL WERE LIKE THAT TOO masa baru anak satu dan dua dan perhaps masa tiga juga. Being quick to be judgmental doesn't help another person to improve. We all start small and ignorant, at many stages of life and roles!
Last sekali..... Saya kena cakap.... Kena perhatikan makanan BERGULA. Gula putih satu hal, lain2 jenis "gula" juga. Zaman 2000 ke depan ni ialah zaman baca dan FAHAM dan cerna label makanan. Bukan sekadar "sugar", tapi kini semua yang ending "-tose" dan kini juga "substitute sugar"; and all kinds of issues yang confusing mengenai all these kinds of sugars and ITS EFFECTS on your grandchildren! You CANNOT have your cake and eat it too! You can't become the "favorite granny" who lets your cucu have all the yummy stuff THEN EXPECT them to sit still after having all those SUGARY FOOD?!?!?!? It's 9pm and you relent to your 2 year old cucu to have a bar of FAKE chocolate and expect them NOT to panjat2 till 12am?!?!?!? The worst bit of it is that you will complain that your menantu is not looking after your cucu when it is YOU who GAVE PERMISSION to your cucu to have sugary food at night!
Conclusion ; if your child and menantu have the decency to become informed parents , then RESPECT YOUR BOUNDARIES as grandparents unless you observe your children as really doing something truly wrong, un-islamic, detrimental and abusive to your grandchildren. If your children seem clueless parents, then encourage them to attend aplenty seminars and workshops nowadays that guide young parents. All in all, i am more prone to say, as it has been a journey of rich mistakes and lessons for you, then realize that it is exactly that for your children now; and in fact since your life is not over yet, there are still aplenty of lessons in life for YOU too! Every stage has its lessons, I'm sure and in fact I personally love to reap pearls of bountiful wisdom from those aged 50 and above. But in this, sometimes I notice that "new grandparents" are also learning to become grandparents - and it takes them time to learn their new role, responsibilities, limits, lessons to learn and share.
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