Pregnancy Diary: Reminiscing second pregnancy's 1st trimester

pic googled

Bismillahhirrahmannirrahim

This time around, it is my first time with a child to look after. The first pregnancy was a surprise (though highly awaited) but so is this one; a complete surprise. During the first trimester of my first pregnancy, I was working at a Day Care. Eventhough for the first three months I didn’t eat the ‘staple food’ (rice), but I ate and rested during children’s naptimes. 

However, by my second pregnancy, I am already a working at home mom. I remember periods of utter fatigue, not being able to rise from bed. It is funny how men seem to ridicule it (women’s behaviour during pregnancy); no wonder they need to be told by the Prophet s.a.w to honour their mother three times, and to be responsible for and gentle to women: men simply have no idea how hard the female body works. This can be easily curbed by explaining the science of it; if they care to listen.

There were days in certain months which I felt so fatigued that I sent my firstborn to day care; much to my hubby’s confusion. He was confused because he simply could not understand how fatigued could I get from being a wahm? It was not housechores; it was my internal organs working like mad to engineer another perfect human being. Subhanallah. Praise be to Allah Who created, designed, engineered, the very complex and astounding system of the female body: inside and outside. 

My second pregnancy began to become more ‘bearable’ around my fifth month, especially since my migraine attacks were less severe. But by my fifth month of gestation, I started to feel bulky and heavy and started to wonder, if I already FEEL bulky and heavy NOW (notwithstanding if I LOOK pregnant or not), how will I feel in my final months?

And now here I am, in my seventh, looking down at the bulge under me and thinking: that’s ALL baby, not even one inch of me. Onlookers still do not notice my bump, especially when I am sitting down, and sometimes not even when I am standing up! But I, notice and feel my bump very much, thank you.

Sometimes I feel that I am less prepared for my second birthing experience than I was for my first. Though I have more information now, but I have less time to practice. I am a person who treasure ‘quiet’ times, and even as a mother of one (boy, pre-schooler) quiet times to fill with practice is hard to come by. Especially since quiet times are mostly filled with simply sleep and rest. :D

But I want to be prepared; birthing has not yet become a mere passing event to me, and I want each birthing event to be special. To be especially calm and an event by which use as a beacon to become closer, more aware and more thankful to my Creator. Not a mere pain to be endured. No, I don’t want my birthing event to be merely that. Birthing is not an everyday activity to a woman, and I want mine to be special and meaningful.