Pregnancy Diary: An insult to mankind

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Bismillahirrahman nirrahim

I am a person who is somewhat easily affected by stuck-up, unfriendly behaviour. Saying so, I can therefore very easily become a loyal patron to any shop with attendants who greet me with amiable smiles. This time around (for my second pregnancy), I have become extra sensitive to stuck-up, unfriendly officers/attendants as well as those who are amiable.

As I am reading the chapter on the pros and cons of medical interventions in a guide for birthing, the sub-chapter on episiotomy makes me recall my very first interview with an obgyn. I will never forget her and the way she treated me. 

Tonight, it just occurred to me, that her behaviour did not just insult my intelligence, but also lowered her own self-worth to a low level: pride does just that. It does one no good to feel you tower above others for who you are and what you have or learned; feeling and behaving so just diminishes the person to a mere despicable person; an insult to others and an insult to the very essence of being human. Because humans are noble.

I would like to say that doctors are more likely prone to this behaviour, especially those labelled ‘specialists’, but it is unfair and unjust to say so. Anyone is prone to it. Sometimes we find that people of no position or authority may also be diseased with it for the reason of suffering from inferiority complex; needing something or anything to feel greater and better than other people.

What exactly happened? Two years ago, pregnant with my first child, armed with a little reading about alternatives to medical interventions and an inquisitive mind, I ‘interviewed’ a potential care-provider about the necessity of an episiotomy. Her answer, and her tone of voice left me silent for a long time after our meeting:

“You would prefer for me to let you tear up to your anus? What in the world gave you the idea that you can avoid an episiotomy? Just because you read some stuff on the internet doesn’t mean anything at all. Stuff on the internet can sway you in whatever direction the website is advocating. Who went to medical school? You or me?”

But I am the type of person, who prefer to give people chances. Similarly when I walk up into a store and I am not greeted at all nor am I attended to, I give the attendants second chances by approaching them instead and making enquiries. So in this obgyn’s case, I proceeded to ask her about what is normally practiced when labor is not progressing, i.e the birthing mother is not dilating well? Her answer and her tone of voice affected me again.

“How am I supposed to know? You are not in labor now!”

Sometimes I can get quite relentless in giving people chances. I like to be given chances and I therefore, like to give people numerous chances. 

“Does this hospital accept birth plans?”

“What’s a birth plan?”

“Look, choosing me to be your doctor, you have to give me full POWER to make decisions.”

Trust, doctor. Not power. You, and other people like you whether they are doctors or not, are a disgrace to humankind. You, are not an expert about the birthing body. Allah is. You should not act and speak so arrogantly as if you are extremely well versed about the birthing woman’s body and thus the birthing woman is a total nimcompoop who needs to surrender herself to you.

Even practitioners who have been in the field longer like Dr. Sears and his wife sound very modest and down-to-earth in their writing, always being careful to say when something is open to change. Oh, please. Especially in the medical field? Especially in the medical field, how could you not realize it and humble yourself to Allah and man, when what is ‘truth’ and ‘fact’ and ‘safe’ today can change in a blink of an eye by means of study, research, and discovery? I.e exposure of x-rays to the unborn foetus. 

Ugh! Man(kind) and their need to feel superior!