My new world: parenting a toddler

6 months ago when he was 18 months old. No, he ain't left-handed!

I used to think breastfeeding and remembering monthly solid food food charts were hard. Well. Now I'm a mother to a toddler. A 2 year old toddler. Who knows how to whine, how to ask for sweets, how to throw a tantrum when he doesn't get what he wants. Will someone please buy me earplugs because I really think I need earplugs to survive living with my toddler!

At first it was just whining. But now it has turned into full-blown high-decibels crying!

Well, here goes my 'study notes' about how to handle whining:

Child: Whining - (gets results) - associates whining with getting his way - uses whining as an effective tool.

Step One: Get child to understand which voice is whining. Darn. Have to practice, even demonstrate 'whining voice' to Musa. Is this going to work? Well, tak cuba tak tahu.

Step Two: Duhh. Kids need attention. So 'acknowledge his need for attention'. Tried this a few times and it amazingly works - to squat down near him, face to face when he's whining and soothe him or explain something. I don't know if he understood me but he actually stopped whining!

Step Three: Reward good behaviour whenever you can. I.e if he asks for something in a pleasant manner, give it to him quickly! Hmm...I don't remember doing this, but I should try to remember.

Step Four: If you can't fulfill a request immediately, try explaining the 'steps' he has to wait until his request can be fulfilled, i.e after I put down the pot I will get you your drink. ERK! Many people have tried this but it doesn't work on Musa. But it says to make the child wait a 'realistic length', i.e 2 minutes = for 2 year olds. I'm trying to believe this can be achieved with Musa... and if he ever waits patiently, his behaviour must be praised... Ok...

Step Five: Try to get a conversation going about the thing he is upset about. Er...maybe when he is older? I don't think I can 'chat' with him just right now, at this age. Though I have seen my sister trying to divert his attention by talking about something else when he's getting into a tantrum. Well, sometimes it works.

Step Six: Don't wait for him to complain for attention...Ok... Totally guilty of this. :-( Have to set a regular time for books, toys, have fun, etc...

Step Seven: Avoid red flags, like bringing a sleepy or hungry kid to shopping.

Step Eight: TRY to be neutral when addressing the whining. 'Try' is capitalized because it's so hard to stay 'neutral' when the kid's whining is turning into a scream or shriek... Requires a tonne of patience. Told you it used to be easier!

Step Nine: Never give in to the whining. Well, at least I never do.

Next on my study list: Cry babies and other terrible two's tantrums...