Reflection: Personalized Life

Assalamua'laikum
When I was single, I had a cousin who quickly found love after a broken engagement. An old school mate asked for her hand in marriage.

I was prejudiced. I felt that I "deserved" the honor more than her. Ofcourse I (wrongly) looked down on her.

There was a time, when someone I was speaking to suddenly remarked, "Please be patient, the time (to marry) will come". I felt embarrassed that I had unknowingly given away my true feelings.

And today, as I am facing challenges in my journey through life as being married and molding the future, again, I go through similar feelings.

I look at family A and a thought passes me by, "They are so perfect", "The individuals in their family never feel as I do now. They don't have my issues and my problems."

I look at person B and my thoughts are, "Look at her. All perfect. Everything is perfectly planned and executed. No let-downs, no mood-swings, no different wavelengths."

.................................................

Then I stop.

NO.

This is my journey.

Oh! Deja-vu.

Somewhere, someplace in what we call time in this life, I have told myself that I will love my wounds, my trials and my challenges.

This is MY life.

My road.

And I will love every fiber of it. I will accept every inch of it. I will move forward and I will struggle and fight for Jannah because I deserve it as much as anyone else and I will have Jannah!