The norm and propogated priority for muslim couples is to look for a muslimah doctor to receive their baby; and so some put much effort to ensure their birthing experience is assisted by a muslimah doctor.
Little do they know; that doctors and ob-gyns are NOT taught how to be a birthing companion. Furthermore, ob-gyns are knowledgeable (note i did not use the word expert) in the area of high-risk pregnancies. What does this mean? This means they did not receive training for how to handle natural, normal physiological birth.
Seriously? Yes, seriously.
Two topics: why does a laboring and birthing woman need birthing "companions"?
And why aren't OBGYNS and doctors in general are not taught about natural, physiological birth?
Answer one: Because birth is not a purely physical occurrence; it is also an emotional and spiritual one.
Answer two: Simply because, in med school you are taught about the allopathic view and "solution" of (almost) everything including Birthing. You are not required to accept it, you may read beyond it, and is fully capable to question it. Education is a lighting of a fire, not a filling of a pail!
Back to finding a muslimah doctor...
Little do these soon-to-be parents know, that the truth is, ob-gyns will be with them for just a few minutes during the second stage of birthing, and maybe slightly longer after the third stage (after the birth of the placenta), to "care" for wounds.
He/she is not there to be with you throughout your birthing experience; you are not paying him/her to comfort you or assist you while you are withstanding the sensations of the birthing experience, and the only "assistance" they will offer is the ones they were taught:
1)start labor: induction, stretch and sweep, etc
2)speed up labor: augmentation, AROM, etc
3)pain relief: gas / entonox, pethidine, epidural, etc.
4)measuring baby's heartbeat: ctg, etc
5)measuring your progress: vaginal exams, etc.
Childbirth classes are not just for the mother who will give birth, but it is also to educate the birthing companion. As I am typing this, it just occurred to me that it would be a good idea to enroll my mom together with me in a childbirth prep class. Hehe!
So couples who "can afford it" think that they are "paying for the best" by getting the service of an OBGYN, where as in fact, if they are having a low-risk pregnancy, the correct person they should be seeing is a midwife.
Why?
Because OBGYNS are knowledgeable people about HIGH-risk pregnancies. They're surgeons. It's like going to a mechanic just to change a tyre. Why waste money? Why mis-use a person's expertise?
Speaking of which; since most will say that they're there (in a private hospital) "also" for the other goods like personal attention (?), privacy (?), etc, I have always thought of asking a private hospital's management if i could just rent the room AND engage their midwife INSTEAD of being tied to an OBGYN's service. Seriously, why wouldn't i? If i'm really there for the room and the personal attention.
And it is nice to know that government hospitals have started an initiative like a department for low-risk pregnancies. That's a nice move. BUT the next question would be; are the midwives trained in natural, physiological, emotional, spiritual birth or are they a smaller version of an obgyn? What are the hospital's "policy" and who wrote this policy about laboring women and is it obsolete or relevant? How respectful are they of a laboring mother? How respectful are they to a mother who just birthed? How does the weaknesses of the system cause them to react to the mothers? I.e not enough beds, under-staffed, etc.
I don't have the answers now.
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Birth is a lot of things beautiful. Irresistible, uncontrollable, engulfing, nerve-wrecking. But definitely all worth it. Not just because the baby at the end, but the very mesmerizing experience itself. It is humbling and magical. It is not a miserable suffering. It has lessons for us, for life.
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