Birth buddies: OBGYN or midwife or...

The norm and propogated priority for muslim couples is to look for a muslimah doctor to receive their baby; and so some put much effort to ensure their birthing experience is assisted by a muslimah doctor.

Little do they know; that doctors and ob-gyns are NOT taught how to be a birthing companion. Furthermore, ob-gyns are knowledgeable (note i did not use the word expert) in the area of high-risk pregnancies. What does this mean? This means they did not receive training for how to handle natural, normal physiological birth.

Seriously? Yes, seriously.

Two topics: why does a laboring and birthing woman need birthing "companions"?

And why aren't OBGYNS and doctors in general are not taught about natural, physiological birth?

Answer one: Because birth is not a purely physical occurrence; it is also an emotional and spiritual one.

Answer two: Simply because, in med school you are taught about the allopathic view and "solution" of (almost) everything including Birthing. You are not required to accept it, you may read beyond it, and is fully capable to question it. Education is a lighting of a fire, not a filling of a pail!

Back to finding a muslimah doctor...

Little do these soon-to-be parents know, that the truth is, ob-gyns will be with them for just a few minutes during the second stage of birthing, and maybe slightly longer after the third stage (after the birth of the placenta), to "care" for wounds.

He/she is not there to be with you throughout your birthing experience; you are not paying him/her to comfort you or assist you while you are withstanding the sensations of the birthing experience, and the only "assistance" they will offer is the ones they were taught:

1)start labor: induction, stretch and sweep, etc
2)speed up labor: augmentation, AROM, etc
3)pain relief: gas / entonox, pethidine, epidural, etc.
4)measuring baby's heartbeat: ctg, etc
5)measuring your progress: vaginal exams, etc.

Childbirth classes are not just for the mother who will give birth, but it is also to educate the birthing companion. As I am typing this, it just occurred to me that it would be a good idea to enroll my mom together with me in a childbirth prep class. Hehe!

So couples who "can afford it" think that they are "paying for the best" by getting the service of an OBGYN, where as in fact, if they are having a low-risk pregnancy, the correct person they should be seeing is a midwife.

Why?

Because OBGYNS are knowledgeable people about HIGH-risk pregnancies. They're surgeons. It's like going to a mechanic just to change a tyre. Why waste money? Why mis-use a person's expertise?

Speaking of which; since most will say that they're there (in a private hospital) "also" for the other goods like personal attention (?), privacy (?), etc, I have always thought of asking a private hospital's management if i could just rent the room AND engage their midwife INSTEAD of being tied to an OBGYN's service. Seriously, why wouldn't i? If i'm really there for the room and the personal attention.

And it is nice to know that government hospitals have started an initiative like a department for low-risk pregnancies. That's a nice move. BUT the next question would be; are the midwives trained in natural, physiological, emotional, spiritual birth or are they a smaller version of an obgyn? What are the hospital's "policy" and who wrote this policy about laboring women and is it obsolete or relevant? How respectful are they of a laboring mother? How respectful are they to a mother who just birthed? How does the weaknesses of the system cause them to react to the mothers? I.e not enough beds, under-staffed, etc.

I don't have the answers now.

-------------------------------

Birth is a lot of things beautiful. Irresistible, uncontrollable, engulfing, nerve-wrecking. But definitely all worth it. Not just because the baby at the end, but the very mesmerizing experience itself. It is humbling and magical. It is not a miserable suffering. It has lessons for us, for life.

Reflection: Qowwam, Hero akhir Zaman

Di mana Suami yang ingin di pandang tinggi dengan penuh hormat dan kekaguman serta penghargaan dari isteri nya?

Di mana suami yang ingin belajar bagaimana membantu isteri nya pada saat-saat paling mencabar buat isteri nya?

Di mana suami yang ingin menjadi "hero" dan "saviour" pada isteri nya?

Saat2 kelahiran anak mu adalah antara saat-saat paling bermakna dan mencabar kekuatan mental dan spiritual isteri mu dan diri mu sendiri. Jangan biarkan diri mu dalam kejahilan; jangan lepaskan peluang untuk muncul sebagai "hero" di saat-saat genting!

Di zaman sekarang di mana kurang nya physical human touch, heart to heart connection, dan lambakan ribuan alatan (gajet) seolah menggantikan keperluan berinteraksi dan perhubungan secara talaqqi (berjumpa di alam realiti bukan virtual), Di zaman sekarang di mana sifat-sifat manusiawi dan alami banyak telah PUPUS dari peribadi manusia, manusia perlu BELAJAR untuk meraih dan membina semula sifat2 malahan hormon2 yang akan mengharmonikan kehidupan.

Jom para suami, yang mempunyai 9 akal yang perlu di isi dengan ilmu, raih multiple bonus pahala dengan menyertai Kelas Persediaan Kelahiran, dan Kelas Persediaan Penyusuan, (serta Kelas Pemakanan yang Halalan Thoyyibah) kerana (kebajikan dan kesihatan) isteri mu dan anak-anak mu adalah amanah kepada mu dan tanggungjawab KAMU. Pernikahan adalah MITSAQAN GHALIZA yang telah kamu ambil dari Allah.

Reflection: What is Life on earth?

A reminder for me....who always forget

57: 20
Ketahuilah bahawa (yang dikatakan) kehidupan dunia itu tidak lain hanyalah (bawaan hidup yang berupa semata-mata) permainan dan hiburan (yang melalaikan) serta perhiasan (yang mengurang), juga (bawaan hidup yang bertujuan) bermegah-megah di antara kamu (dengan kelebihan, kekuatan, dan bangsa keturunan) serta berlumba-lumba membanyakkan harta benda dan anak pinak; (semuanya itu terhad waktunya) samalah seperti hujan yang (menumbuhkan tanaman yang menghijau subur) menjadikan penanamnya suka dan tertarik hati kepada kesuburannya, kemudian tanaman itu bergerak segar (ke suatu masa yang tertentu), selepas itu engkau melihatnya berupa kuning; akhirnya ia menjadi hancur bersepai; dan (hendaklah diketahui lagi, bahawa) di akhirat ada azab yang berat (di sediakan bagi golongan yang hanya mengutamakan kehidupan dunia itu), dan (ada pula) keampunan besar serta keredaan dari Allah (disediakan bagi orang-orang yang mengutamakan akhirat). Dan (ingatlah, bahawa) kehidupan dunia ini tidak lain hanyalah kesenangan bagi orang-orang yang terpedaya.

Reflections of Light: The Path for answers and satiation

Al-Mai'dah: Verses 15-16

Reflection: How "great" are we?

Allah speaks about the sperm and seminal fluids: and Allah asks us to THINK about it. That WE did not CREATE it. Allah did.

Dear Natural Mom,
YOU have no superpower to birth. It is by permission of Allah, of a law He permits to happen or He can change at any given time according to His will.

Oh diriku....

Verses: al-waqi'ah: 57-59

More Studying: GMO

http://www.nongmoproject.org/wp-content/uploads/2010/01/Non-GMO-Project-Shopping-Guide-Jan-101.pdf

http://mercola.fileburst.com/PDF/GMObrochure.pdf

recommended: http://gmoguide.greenpeace.ca/shoppers_guide.pdf

http://gmo-awareness.com/shopping-list/gmo-free-brands/

http://gmo-awareness.com/shopping-list/family-organic-brands/

http://gmo-awareness.com/shopping-list/corporate-organic-brands/

Reflection: Personalized Life

Assalamua'laikum
When I was single, I had a cousin who quickly found love after a broken engagement. An old school mate asked for her hand in marriage.

I was prejudiced. I felt that I "deserved" the honor more than her. Ofcourse I (wrongly) looked down on her.

There was a time, when someone I was speaking to suddenly remarked, "Please be patient, the time (to marry) will come". I felt embarrassed that I had unknowingly given away my true feelings.

And today, as I am facing challenges in my journey through life as being married and molding the future, again, I go through similar feelings.

I look at family A and a thought passes me by, "They are so perfect", "The individuals in their family never feel as I do now. They don't have my issues and my problems."

I look at person B and my thoughts are, "Look at her. All perfect. Everything is perfectly planned and executed. No let-downs, no mood-swings, no different wavelengths."

.................................................

Then I stop.

NO.

This is my journey.

Oh! Deja-vu.

Somewhere, someplace in what we call time in this life, I have told myself that I will love my wounds, my trials and my challenges.

This is MY life.

My road.

And I will love every fiber of it. I will accept every inch of it. I will move forward and I will struggle and fight for Jannah because I deserve it as much as anyone else and I will have Jannah!

Study: GMO food

Note:
I have found that this file cannot be opened on my laptop, but can be viewed using my smart phone. Please tell me if you are encountering a similar problem.

Pdf file:
http://truefoodnow.files.wordpress.com/2011/02/cfs-shoppers-guide.pdf

Excerpt:
This guide was compiled based on company statements, not genetic testing. Any product labeled as Non- GMO indicates that its manufacturing process is designed to avoid GMOs, but consumers should be aware that GM contam- ination is possible due to natural pollen movement, weather events, seed contamination, or human error. Hence there is no guarantee such products are 100% free of GMOs.

Excerpt 2:
TIP #3: AVOID AT-RISK INGREDIENTS
Avoid products made with any of the crops that are GM. Most GM ingredients are products made from the “Big Four:” corn, soybeans, canola, and cottonseed, used in processed foods.

Some of the most common genetically engineered Big Four ingredients in processed foods are:

Corn
■ Corn flour, meal, oil, starch, gluten, and syrup
■ Sweeteners such as fructose, dextrose, and glucose
■ Modified food starch*

Soy
■ Soy flour, lecithin, protein, isolate, and isoflavone
■ Vegetable oil* and vegetable protein*

Canola
Canola oil (also called rapeseed oil)

Cotton
Cottonseed oil

*May be derived from other sources

Additionally, GM sugar beet sugar recently entered the food supply. Look for organic and non-GMO sweeteners, candy and chocolate products made with 100% cane sugar, evaporated cane juice, agave, or organic sugar, to avoid GM beet sugar.

Excerpt 3:
Infant formula

May contain GMO ingredients
Enfamil (Mead Johnson)
Good Start (Gerber/Nestle)
Nestle brands (Gerber/Nestle)
Similac/Isomil – except Similac
Organic (Abbott Labs/Abbott Nutrition)


Cereals and Breakfast bars

May Contain GMO Ingredients
Aunt Jemima (Quaker Oats/Pepsico)
Betty Crocker (General Mills)
Bisquick (General Mills)
Calumet Baking Powder (Kraft)
Duncan Hines (Pinnacle Foods)
Hungry Jack (Smucker’s)
Pillsbury (Smucker’s)

May Contain GMO Ingredients
General Mills
Kellogg
Post (Kraft)
Quaker

May Contain GMO Ingredients
Balance Bar
Nature Valley snack bars and granola bars (General Mills)
Nabisco Bars (Kraft)
PowerBar (Nestle)
Quaker Granola Bars

Canned products 

May contain GMO ingredients
Bertolli (Unilever)
Campbell products (including Healthy Request, Chunky, Simply Home, and Pepperidge Farm)
Chef Boyardee (Con Agra)
Chi-Chi’s (Hormel)
Classico (Heinz)
Del Monte
Healthy Choice (ConAgra)
Hormel products
Hunt’s (ConAgra)
Old El Paso (General Mills)
Pace (Campbell ‘s)
Prego ( Campbell’s )
Progresso products (General Mills)
Ragu (Unilever)


Snacks
May contain GMO ingredients
FritoLay (Lay’s, Ruffles, Doritos,
Cheetos, Tostitos)
Hostess Products
(Interstate Brands)
Keebler (Kellogg’s)
Kraft (Nabisco, Nilla Wafers,
Oreos, Ritz, Nutter Butter, Honey Maid, SnackWells, Teddy Grahams, Wheat Thins, Triscuit)
Pepperidge Farm (Campbell’s)
Pringles
Quaker Oats Company


The sweetener aspartame is derived from GM microorganisms. It is also referred to as NutraSweet® and Equal® and is found in over 6,000 products, including soft drinks, gum, candy, desserts, yogurt, tabletop sweeteners, and some pharmaceu- ticals such as vitamins and sugar-free cough drops.

CANDY & CHOCOLATE PRODUCTS

Non-GMO
Chocolove
Endangered Species Chocolate
Ghirardelli Chocolate
Green & Black’s Organic Chocolate
Kopali Organics
Lindt Chocolate
Newman’s Own
Nonuttin'
Woodstock Farms (organic)

May contain GMO Ingredients
Hershey’s
Mars, Inc.
Nestlé (Crunch, Kit Kat, Smarties)
Toblerone (Kraft)

Reflection: Feeling down & Usrah

Assalamua'laikum,
I think there were about two times in which I did not attend usrah because I was feeling "terribly" down. But hubby says that attending usrah is one of the medicine when one feels down.

I remember a sister who once shared, a person who undergoes Tarbiyah (in jamaah) sometimes feels down too, but for the tarbiyah the person has gone through means that the phase would not drag the person to a terribly low point of leaving what is fardh (obligatory). I recall vaguely her words. But my understanding of it is that, whenever I feel down, I would know what to do MORE. Sometimes it's not that easy, but sometimes it is.

It is as easy as speaking in my heart, "Allah please help me".

Those words- the very same, simple words I have been repeating all throughout my teenage and young adult years.

Today, I took the medicine (usrah) , and I also took the medicine 'Tilawatul Qur'an'.

And Allah led me to look at something that made me reflect and uplift my spirit. What was it? It was photos from the facebook album of Abu Urwah or Pakcik Saari Sungip. As I looked through the pictures, I saw in them that his wife and children were in some of them as well. I am already acquainted with three of his daughters. (Funnily, through 3 different 'fields')

As I looked at the pictures, something came over me. About how he has involved his whole family in his career. How he has taught and continues to teach his children (and grandchildren) about Islam and its application in this life.

I was actually feeling quite down and lost. But now I feel better.

I may not be his daughter, and I may not be like them...but I was created for the same purpose. I may not do the same things as they do, but I can do something. I was created for the same purpose as they were. I may not have the same road behind me and in front of me, but Allah did not create me for stupid, foolish reasons. Just as they are doing good and spreading good, I too, in whatever way I am able to, no matter how small it seems, will be able to do just as much as good.

Nobody needs to see what I do. Except Allah.

I hope you will benefit from my reflection tonight.

Please make do'a for me.

It is not easy for me to remember, sometimes that this life is about me and Allah, but Allah will help me if I keep asking Him to help me. He is the best of Helpers.

Mealtime at home: When they're hungry

They had oranges for breakfast and some watermelon mid-lunch. Then they're starving by the time it's lunch. Priceless scene for me!

Project: Orange Peel Candle

1. I don't usually cut my oranges this way
2. First time experiment; separated the flesh from the peel using gentle pressure with my thumb
3. Took me 10 or so attempts to get the wick to burn, and then to burn a steady light.

Picture source (step by step): Facebook
The picture with the single burning orange peel candle is my own experiment.

Reflection: Anasir Taghir (Agent of Change)

Assalamua'laikum

Last weekend, my husband and I attended "Kursus Ibu Bapa Professional dan Anak Cemerlang" at Nury Institute in Bukit Antarabangsa. Well...I have lots to say about how it made me feel; it made me feel excited, agitated, depressed, confused, motivated, et cetera. But this post is not about how I feel.

One of the topics was Nutrition, and they recommended us to watch Jamie Oliver's School Dinners. 2:54 seconds after I watch the first episode, something strucks me about Jamie and people like him. They are agents of change.

To change something isn't easy. To know something and to just practice it for yourself is easy. But to involve someone else, for example your children and your partner, isn't easy.

But people do it. Lots of people do it. The line of Messengers (the prophets/Rasul) were harbingers of change. Whether or not it is a message you received from Allah directly, to promote and bring about change from bad to good- isn't easy.

The effects? Even death and harm unto those you love and who loves you. Why?

Because people who are greedy and selfish have an interest in people being dumb and irresponsible (not being responsible, not having knowledge, not making choices based on knowledge, not knowing a balanced pro and cons of something).

Comfort, luxury and convenience comes at a price in this world and greedy, evil people will do it for a price: they will may other people pay for it. They will do anything and everything to delude people that they already know enough and already have enough or are given enough, in order for those greedy, evil people to enjoy 'life in this world.'

Eventhough there will be seemingly "negative" effects, but people will still become harbingers of change.

A five year-old questions

1. Why do women join women-only halaqah?
2. If we only join same-gender halaqah, then why do we marry the opposite gender when we grow up?
3. I want to marry zainab when i grow up (-_-")
4. Abu jahal (ialah) nabi apa?
5. Kenapa nabi juga ada isteri dan suami?
6. Allah ada mulut tak? Macamana Allah bercakap jika Allah tiada mulut?

Please share with me the questions your 5 year old asks you? :)

Kajian: Bersalin Menurut Panduan Al-Qur'an

Dari blog: http://www.tenangmelahirkan.blogspot.com

Assalamua'laikum,

Bersalin menurut panduan Al-Qur'an (Qur'anic Childbirth)
Pada bulan Mac 2013, satu pembentangan bertajuk "Pengenalan kepada Bersalin menurut panduan Al-Qur'an" (Qur'anic Childbirth) telah di adakan. Hasil daripada pembentangan tersebut, sebuah kumpulan R & D telah di tubuhkan bagi meneruskan kajian mengenai isi-isi penting pembentangan tersebut. Kajian seterusnya yang akan di jalankan ingin menggali "Petunjuk dan panduan dari Al-Qur'an dan Sunnah untuk kehamilan dan proses bersalin" (Qur'anic and Sunnah Techniques for Labor and Birth).


Mahu menyumbang? (Donation)
Kami dengan berbesar hati ingin membuka peluang kepada orang ramai serta mana-mana badan kerajaan, pertubuhan, syarikat, dan lain-lain untuk memberi sumbangan kepada kerja-kerja menyiapkan kajian ini. Kami juga bersedia untuk menjalinkan joint-venture dengan mana-mana pihak kedua dalam menjalankan kajian ini.

Bentuk-bentuk sumbangan adalah seperti berikut:

• wang
• bahan bacaan yang berkaitan dengan kajian seperti :

• • buku-buku resipi sajian sihat, sunnah, dan tempatan, 

  • kajian atas isu-isu makanan (GMO, MSG, HRCS, pesticides, etc)

  • pemakanan sunnah, 

  • sifat solat nabi, dan lain-lain.

• ilmu melalui pertemuan, perbincangan, pembentangan, dan lain-lain. Bidang/tajuk:

• ulum al-qur'an, 

• tafsiran saintifik al-qur'an, 

• peranan air dalam ibadah dan agama, 

• makhraj huruf, dan lain-lain

• tempat berkumpul (untuk ahli kumpulan berjumpa dan bermesyuarat), 
• dan lain-lain.

Hubungi Kami (Contact)
Untuk pertanyaan mengenai sumbangan dan lain-lain sila emailkan kepada: mahabatullah@hotmail.com.
Sila isikan ruangan subject dengan perkataan "Qur'anic Childbirth", terima kasih.


Kerjasama (Join the team)
Malahan kami juga sangat berbesar hati jika anda berminat untuk turut bersama kumpulan kami. Berikut di lampirkan sub-tajuk kajian ke atas tajuk "Petunjuk dan panduan dari Al-Qur'an dan Sunnah untuk kehamilan dan proses bersalin":

• Bab 1: Aqidah yang Benar sebagai Asas Natural Birth
• Bab 2: Pemakanan Halal dan Thoyyib & Kesihatan Ibu Mengandung
• Bab 3: Pergerakan & Penghayatan Solat sebagai Teknik Rehat & Rawat Ibu Hamil & Bersalin
• Bab 4: Tilawah Al-Qur'an sebagai Teknik Pernafasan, Pernyataan Positif dan Kuasa Minda
• Bab 5: Zikir, Do'a dan Azan sebagai Teknik Rehat & Rawat dan Pernyataan Positif
• Bab 6: Mencontohi Perbuatan Maryam ketika Proses Bersalin
• Bab 7: Pelbagai Teknik Lain

Tempoh Kajian
Di-anggarkan bahawa proses mengumpul, meng-analisa dan memproses maklumat akan mengambil masa antara minimum satu (1) ke maksimum tiga (3) tahun.


Pertanyaan (Inquiries)
Sila email pertanyaan anda ke : mahabatullah@hotmail.com dan isikan ruangan subject dengan perkataan "Qur'anic Childbirth". Terima Kasih.