My new world: parenting a toddler

6 months ago when he was 18 months old. No, he ain't left-handed!

I used to think breastfeeding and remembering monthly solid food food charts were hard. Well. Now I'm a mother to a toddler. A 2 year old toddler. Who knows how to whine, how to ask for sweets, how to throw a tantrum when he doesn't get what he wants. Will someone please buy me earplugs because I really think I need earplugs to survive living with my toddler!

At first it was just whining. But now it has turned into full-blown high-decibels crying!

Well, here goes my 'study notes' about how to handle whining:

Child: Whining - (gets results) - associates whining with getting his way - uses whining as an effective tool.

Step One: Get child to understand which voice is whining. Darn. Have to practice, even demonstrate 'whining voice' to Musa. Is this going to work? Well, tak cuba tak tahu.

Step Two: Duhh. Kids need attention. So 'acknowledge his need for attention'. Tried this a few times and it amazingly works - to squat down near him, face to face when he's whining and soothe him or explain something. I don't know if he understood me but he actually stopped whining!

Step Three: Reward good behaviour whenever you can. I.e if he asks for something in a pleasant manner, give it to him quickly! Hmm...I don't remember doing this, but I should try to remember.

Step Four: If you can't fulfill a request immediately, try explaining the 'steps' he has to wait until his request can be fulfilled, i.e after I put down the pot I will get you your drink. ERK! Many people have tried this but it doesn't work on Musa. But it says to make the child wait a 'realistic length', i.e 2 minutes = for 2 year olds. I'm trying to believe this can be achieved with Musa... and if he ever waits patiently, his behaviour must be praised... Ok...

Step Five: Try to get a conversation going about the thing he is upset about. Er...maybe when he is older? I don't think I can 'chat' with him just right now, at this age. Though I have seen my sister trying to divert his attention by talking about something else when he's getting into a tantrum. Well, sometimes it works.

Step Six: Don't wait for him to complain for attention...Ok... Totally guilty of this. :-( Have to set a regular time for books, toys, have fun, etc...

Step Seven: Avoid red flags, like bringing a sleepy or hungry kid to shopping.

Step Eight: TRY to be neutral when addressing the whining. 'Try' is capitalized because it's so hard to stay 'neutral' when the kid's whining is turning into a scream or shriek... Requires a tonne of patience. Told you it used to be easier!

Step Nine: Never give in to the whining. Well, at least I never do.

Next on my study list: Cry babies and other terrible two's tantrums...

Program Transformasi Ekonomi or ETP

I first read about it at Ustazah Noraslina's Blog (link) but was still rather blur about it. But when Ustaz Hasrizal also wrote about it (link), and explained with details from various sources, then did I understand the urgency of the matter.

They want to build more night clubs, 'offer more jobs', bring in more money into the country by bringing in more tourists, hold more concerts by foreign artists (not that I think local artists do not cause any "damage" to society).

To say that I'm truly shocked, well, not altogether. Isn't it just natural of people who 'put their country first' by all means necessary?

It's very 'nice' of them to throw in some select adjectives (like Rasulullah, Makkah, and some verses from the Holy Qur'an and some hadiths) in their speeches or even hold or take part in some 'religious' campaigns to say, 'Hey! I believe in it too! I work for Islam too' and yadda yadda yadda, but at the end of the day, we just come to one conclusion:

We're being fooled. Orang Melayu cakap, 'di gula-gula kan'.

We're being fooled into believing that we're in the same boat (well in a way we are) with them - what I mean is we're working towards the same aims for the same reason but...

nope. I know I would like to believe it of them. I would like to think good of them. But when the ugly truth comes out, it's distinct as black and white.

Well, that's my two cents of it.

Musa's development: 25 months (2 years 1 month)

(Taken from 19-26 months)

check your own child's at babycenter.com's milestone charts (link)

Basic

• uses a spoon and fork - only whenever he is allowed to, which is not most of the time. But he is better with his hands when eating nasi! (rice)
• enjoys helping around the house - huh?! He throws a tantrum if he doesn't get to!
• feeds a doll - occasionally. rarely does it.
• takes off own clothes - pants, drypants, yes. top, not yet.
• dumps an object in imitation - can imitate most things.
• can walk up stairs - definitely. and downstairs.
• able to set simple goals - simple?? I think they're hardly simple. He wants to do every little thing including opening his yogurt jar eventhough he can't yet and every other little thing like throwing away the yogurt jar. Again, he'll wail a 1000 decibels when we do it instead
• kicks ball forward - done
• follows two-step requests (take it, bring it here) - done
• Name simple picture in a book - done
• Names at least six body parts - hair, ears, nose, eyes, tongue, teeth, lips, belly button, bottoms, hands, feet, farajun. A while ago I taught him knees and toes. 
• Half of speech is understandable - well, most of the time. Sometimes I still don't understand him and take a while to 'translate'.
• makes two to three word sentences - Three words, yes, but sometimes I feel that there's more than three.
• stacks (6) blocks - sometimes. we don't have stacking blocks at home to evaluate.
• walks with smooth heel to toe motion - erk. maybe?

Intermediate

•  does simple puzzles - definitely NOT! He either tears them apart or throws them
• draws a straight line - drawing, maybe. straight lines? maybe not
• open doors - yes
• sings simple tunes - now more than ever
• playing with other kids - not really
• talks about self - yes, sometimes about others as well. More like describing what happened
• arranges things in categories - Maybe not
• uses pronouns - he uses names instead (Musa, Nenek, Ummi, etc)
• washes and dries hands - see below

Advanced

• washes and dries hands with help - help?? he DOESN'T want help! (eventhough he's not good at something)
• exploring genitals - yes
• puts on loose fitting clothes - with a little help
• understands opposites - not sure he understands them, but he can say them
• asks 'why'? - not yet
• begins to understand abstract concepts (sooner, later) - No! (though can be patient sometimes)
• jumps - yes! (because his daddy skips on a skipping rope)
• becomes attuned to gender differences - well I try to make him understand so that he will stop asking me to tie his hair!
• speaks clearly most of the time - not yet
• draws a vertical line - no

Basic:
 Yes - 13
No - 0
Unsure - 2

Intermediate:
 Yes - 4
No - 4
Unsure -1
Advanced:
 Yes - 5
No - 3
Unsure -2


Disclaimer:
This 'report' is for me to keep track of his developments, not to say he is a genius or slow or whatever and especially not to say he is better or not better than other children. He is just fine.

Mari meningkatkan iman: Birthing is a science (Revised)

Flora, Fauna, Our own body, Man-made inventions, and more: should make me and you closer to Allah

NOTE: This entry was originally published on October 19, 2010 and revised on August 23, 2011


Part One: The Science of it

Excerpts from Ustaz Ahmad Baei Jaafar's article in Solusi issue 20, titled 'Sains harus mendekatkan umat dengan tauhid':

Excerpt 1:

Siapa kita? Apakah yang anda tahu tentang diri anda? Ya, benarlah kalau anda belum mengenali diri anda yang sebenar, tidak mungkin anda boleh mengenali Allah.

My birthing note:
I agree. When we learn about the female anatomy and its amazing capabilities regarding birthing, we should feel amazed with Allah, The Greatest Designer. When we refuse to learn, we are (not just) ignorant, and we refuse to be amazed with Allah's Greatness. Wasn't reproduction a topic in Science, taught in sekolah menengah (secondary school)? In another issue of Solusi, Dr. Farhan Hadi explains scientists' amazement at how the female body does not reject and attack the foetus since it is in fact, an "alien" in a woman's body, just as a cancerous tissue or a virus is. He also explains how secure the womb is, and how this fact is mentioned in the Qur'an.

Therefore, it is beyond a shadow of a doubt that I highly encourage myself and my fellow friends to learn about birthing, the female anatomy, breastfeeding, etc as:
(1) learning is required of us Muslims,
(2) learning gives us so much credit/reward/merit (pahala)
(3) and learning makes us fear Allah and makes us closer to Allah (mentioned in Surah Al-Furqan).
(4)This is besides all the other benefits of learning, which among others is enabling us to make informed choices.

Excerpt Two:

Sesungguhnya manusia di ciptakan oleh Allah s.w.t, satu ciptaan yang paling sempurna berbanding dengan makhluk yang lain termasuk malaikat. Tetapi malangnya kita sendiri tidak tahu dan tidak kenal kehebatan diri sendiri.


My birthing note:
 IMPORTANT NOTE: I replace the word 'Pain' or 'Sakit' (Malay) with 'Sensation'. The reason I do this is as follows: In Islam, there is a hadeeth (saying of the Prophet Muhammad peace be upon him) which says "Words are Du'a". Du'a is often translated as prayer or supplication. The simplest way to understand it is that a du'a is a request (made to God). As I was being trained to become a hypnobirthing childbirth educator, I learnt about using positive affirmations and "suggestions" and I believe that these methods and concepts are totally in line with Islamic teachings, i.e say only good things (also a hadeeth), be careful what you say (because words are du'a)


We know that only women can be pregnant and we know men cannot be. We know that birthing is challenging (due to "horror" birthing stories we are often bombarded with) And then we just stop there.


But some people who have given birth or is ignorant about Allah's great design (the female anatomy and internal/built-in software for birthing), will not stop scaring us into oblivion about the "horrors" of birthing

So women just get one really ugly, awful fact about birthing: It sucks.

No, friends. Birthing doesn't suck. It's NOT torture. Allah is NOT punishing you for your sins.

We are "conditioned into" believing that women suffer when they give birth. What we don't know is that unlike the alien, unbeneficial and unwanted cancerous cells and the effect that cancerous cells brings to our bodies, "the sensations of labor" and the whole challenging process of birthing is:
1.not abnormal,
2.not unbeneficial 
3.and the sweet 'produce' (read: baby) at the end of it is definitely not unwanted.

Before you start accusing me of saying that women should suffer the sensations of labor for some good reason, give me another 2 minutes and read on.


Part Two: Understanding the sensations

I said the advent of the uterus starting to aid the baby out needs to happen, it isn't an abnormality of the female anatomy, unlike a disease. Ofcourse it needs to happen. It's an abnormality when it doesn't happen (Absence of contractions is another topic altogether. Inductions are RARELY necessary. Do your homework: link) We need the contractions, to help baby get out. Did I say we? I meant you. You the pregnant woman in labor.

When you take pethidine, entonox, epidural or whatsoever drug which interferes with the communication between the nerves and your brain, the doctor or midwife feels your belly for a contraction and when it happens, asks you to imagine yourself trying to defecate. Nice.

But that's not all that happens. You're drugged and/or drowsy and so becomes your newborn, to a lesser or higher degree. Some moms and babies are still alert, some are a tad blur, while some are sleepy and some, totally pass out. It's a mere possibility, but that's the risk you open yourself and your newborn to.

Miraculously, the contractions of the uterus during labor has never killed any woman. Sometimes, women do die giving birth, but not because of the contractions!

Now I understand why Lamaze started a campaign to 'celebrate birth'. Shame on us Muslims for NOT celebrating the wonderfully taqwa-building event of birth.

And tell me which part of birthing is not a part of being Muslim? 

Is birthing not an ibadah? Yes, birthing is not a 'Fear Factor' contest, you don't get any medals for birthing without drugs as relievers BUT the "contractions" don't go on for hours without end; it comes and it goes. It starts off not very intense and gradually intensifies for a reason, for a purpose. The contractions, is part of a software for birthing, which Allah installed in your body!

Use this miraculous event to thank Allah for permitting the software to run/initiate/begin, and for providing relief when it goes away for a little while.


But when we:

• refuse to learn about it (for whatever reason)
• refuse to be amazed by the great design and plan,  
• refuse to perceive it in a positive way, 
• refuse to be humbled by it and grateful for it
•  thus it becomes nothing but an awful, horrifying ordeal to go through just in order to have a baby.

So another great event in our life will just pass us by without bringing much meaning (or taqwa building) except the memory of pain. :-(

To me this is a terrible, terrible loss for a Muslim.

We refuse to recognize the great design and plan of the Great Creator. We, either men or women, are capable of great things. Birthing is a great thing and women are thus capable of a great thing.

Disclaimer:
Before I get assaulted for making people feel guilty for taking pain relieving drugs during labor, I remind you that I am not writing to make people feel bad, I am writing to inspire people about what they are capable of due to Allah's Ingenuity in His Design of the female body.

Part Four: My labor sensations

Let's talk about "the sensations".

Birth of firstborn: I thanked Allah everytime He made my contraction subside (while it was still mild), and mentally repeated to myself: it's a positive sensation. (In fact I said it to myself loudly) And yes, I started vocalising when it intensified, but with my doctor's encouragement and instructions, I stopped and focused on pushing everytime my uterus contracted. (at that point, i didn't know i didn't have to push. Yup, we don't have to literally push like when we're constipating, NO need for that. Google 'breathing baby down' or 'birth breathing')

Yes, at first I became a bit 'blur' when the contractions intensified, but I was sober, my mind was still there. I remember feeling a little disappointed when they lowered my bed (I wanted to be in a semi-upright position instead of  horizontal), I remember them injecting something into my arm and thinking, "What's this? Nobody told me about this jab" and most importantly, I was able to gather myself between the contractions to listen to the doctor's instructions.

She told me, don't waste your energy vocalising, you need the energy to push the baby out (remember, you DON'T have to push!). When you feel it coming (uterus start to contract, tummy "hardens"), grit your teeth, push your chin onto your chest, and push! (This is what the doctor said, as a CBE in training, I would tell you to breathe, relax, breathe baby down and out)


Conclusion:
Birthing is a science. 
Birthing is a miraculous event. 
Birthing is a wonderful moment of security. 
Birthing is a chance to build taqwa, be thankful to Allah and feel closer to Allah. 

It's not torture. It's not a punishment.  
The most powerful anesthetic to help you with the sensation is, YOUR MIND.

Unbiased Info on natural birth

Click to view their explanations (direct link)

Journal 1

The Natural Family

Kidshealth.org

Why (did I choose) Natural Childbirth?

Salam, Hello there. Nice to meet you =)

Salam,

Last two years, while waiting for the birth of my first baby, I started to do some online research on birthing. I watched birth videos, and stumbled upon Lamaze.org and Birthingnaturally.net. Some months before I even conceived, I happened to watch a TV program about water birth.

And my simple research made me decide, I want a natural birth:

• I don't want to be induced (therefore I will try some methods of being induced naturally like lots of walking, eating and drinking certain food and drink, etc), 
• I don't want any kind of drugs as pain relievers (therefore I will practice active birth positions and other comfort measures)
• And I also informed my gynae of my decision (besides choosing one who is open to the idea).

But the question that haunts me now, in trying to promote natural birth to friends, is why should we attempt to give birth naturally? As I searched the net for the answer for 'Why Natural Childbirth?', I realized that I have to find the answer within me first.

Yes, I did succeed to give birth naturally, without being induced with artificial oxytocin called pitocin and yes, I did not use any drugs as pain relievers. But nobody gave me a medal for that. I was not trying to win a contest for the bravest woman alive. In fact, as I try to recall, my reasons for attempting natural birth was because:

1. (My biggest motivation was) Especially because, we didn't have a lot of money. The administering of drugs, especially epidural and especially at a private hospital costs at least RM500, if not more. We were struggling to even save up for the necessities of the hospital bill, so another bulky RM500 for a pain reliever was a financial burden.

As a result, I opted to do these things: I borrowed RM60 from my sis to buy a birthing ball (which was actually just a normal gym ball) and PRACTICED on it at home, I watched online videos of women using movement as a comfort measure and occasionally PRACTICED them, I made a playlist of calming music to be played during active birth, and I bought a bottle of calming massage oil (the only comfort measure I didn't get to use, I was too focused on moving). The other comfort measure I didn't get to apply was taking a hot shower because the water never warmed!

2. The other reason I was attracted to attempt natural birth was the fact that it involved in believing and trusting that Allah had designed women's body to give birth; (note that I said to GIVE BIRTH, not to suffer the pain of child birth). I subscribe to the belief that yes, some if not most things work best when its course is run naturally, and that things that are 'natural' are better.

To me it's pretty simple, actually. Artificial food, artificial flowers, artificial fibers, and other objects, products and things that you can think of. What comes to your mind about them? They don't taste good, they don't look or smell good and they're bad for your health, to a lesser or greater degree. Men are intelligent, and technology is good, but Allah is greater than man and technology. Medical intervention is good when it is really necessary.

Though sometimes in life we are forced into some "unnatural" circumstances and we survive just fine, but most of the time, even in those hard situations, we often let things go slowly, and 'naturally', because we instinctively know that it is better that way. Like love which gradually builds in friendships and relationships.

Getting back to medical interventions and artificially inducing or speeding up labor and taking drugs to eliminate labor pain, yes - nobody gets a medal for choosing natural birth, and it's not a contest.

But it's quirky how we choose to 'go natural' or 'choose natural' in many aspects in life but when it comes to birth and medicine, we hold the medical world in absolute authority. Forgetting to trust Allah and His plan, design and creation ("nature").

I truly believe that birthing has in fact been taken away from mothers and has become a 'business'. The very intimate, special, miraculous event has been robbed away from mothers and their family to become artificial, robotic, unnatural and supposedly leaves everyone in the 'dark'. Only the doctor and nurses know what to do and what is going on.

Our intelligence shouldn't be degraded and we shouldn't be so ignorant.

Nobody likes to be totally ignorant about cars, computers, handphones, houses, etc so that when we buy or repair them, we won't get cheated by people who sell them or repair them. We are willing to educate ourselves about cars, computers, handphones, etc, but why do we refuse to learn and make informed decisions about childbirth?

Weird, isn't it?

I didn't win any medals or contest for attempting and succeeding at natural birth. But I felt good, because my body and Allah didn't let me down: I trusted Allah and He permitted me to go through birth with pain AND relief. It didn't take me at least 6 hours of pain: my waterbag burst at 8am, contractions began to become intense from 9am onwards, and Musa came out at 11am. So my first labor took 3 hours, because Allah permit it to be so, praise to Allah for allowing my efforts to result in success.

After birth, I was amazed that I did not feel sleepy or exhausted. So I could initiate breastfeeding early, eventhough it was with much mistakes. Well, there's a first for everyone.

I do not want to make other people feel bad or disappointed for going through hours and hours of contractions and medical interventions, not every birth is the same. But we can always attempt and prepare ourselves for birthing; because WE are the ones giving birth, and it is the birth of our loved one, and it should be a 'moment'. And it shouldn't be taken away from us from anybody at all, especially those who don't really care about us.....

A short one on Natural Birth

Image from this link (online bookstore)


(Excuse this need to express myself after reading some thumbs down reviews on Dr. Sears' Book which promotes natural birth on amazon)

Natural Birth, as in everything else in this world, has people for it and people who are somewhat not too keen about it. Well, I do agree that people have different pain thresholds BUT as a Muslim, I believe in:

1)The mind as a great gift and tool given to us by Allah. And that a lot of things in this world are often a problem or not (or in this case 'very horrifying or not') due to how we perceive something. And you must agree with me, that a person with the least ability to endure physical pain, sometimes is highly capable to endure emotional pain in certain situations, vice versa, etc. But to me, an important thing about being a Muslim is being knowledgeable, just enough to be able to make informed decisions. Making informed decisions means that we are not total idiots about the choices we make or the choices people make for us. When we have made at least some research or read up a little, then the harder it is for people to take advantage of our ignorance (i.e charge us more than they should for a certain product, make up spend more money than we should, etc) or in simple words, cheat or fool us.

2)But specifically speaking about childbirth, Allah has taught us in the Qur'an, ways to manage labor pain by telling us about the birth of Isa a.s. (Surah Maryam, verse 23-26) We just need to practice and prepare ourselves mentally and physically for it. For me, as a Muslim, there is no better motivation and encouragement than this lesson from the Qur'an.

3)Not everybody has the financial means to use expensive (often drug) pain relievers. And 'everybody' means A LOT of women from the middle and lower income group. Because in most countries, these income groups make up for the majority of the society. So when managing labor pain in a natural way is not promoted and campaigned, that means A LOT of women are often left to just suffer pain with absolutely NO COMFORT MEASURES AT ALL. And yes, this is awful since giving birth is welcoming a beautiful gift into the world. The pain can be managed, not suffered. Birth is a wonderful experience, because the pregnant woman is not sick. There is a little pain, yes, and life is about managing our pain(s). Though there are some "pains" that deserve to be erased totally (like certain dangerous criminals), but in birthing/giving birth, the pain is there for a good reason, and erasing it bring about some negative effects that parents should be able to make informed decisions about.

Disclaimer: I do not intend to make any mother feel bad for having being induced, an epidural, C-section or anything else less than a natural birth. I am just promoting what I believe in for its importance and goodness.

Part 2: Susuibu.com International Lactation Conference 2010

Why are we so obsessed with numbers?

Why do we define our self worth and the worthiness of other things in numbers?

 (Pics googled)

In the last entry, I forgot to include an introduction to the conference's three main speakers: (Info taken from the conference's main website)

• Dr. Jack Newman – world renowned expert on childcare and breastfeeding, author of best selling books “Ultimate Breastfeeding Book of Answers”


• Sue Cox – distinguished author, speaker and pioneer in breastfeeding support in Australia. Author of “Breastfeeding with Confidence” and “Baby Magic”

• Diana West – distinguished speaker and author of best selling book “Making More Milk”.

(I rarely open the lappy these days, so please forgive me for the time gap between these entries)

Anyway, in this entry, I will tell you about the first talk, very sarcastically titled "Numbers On Demand" (I'll tell you why it's sarcastic in a minute) by the very knowledgeable, and VERY funny Dr. Jack Newman. (He's a funny old man, visit his site, there's LOADS of important info there to remind you of the very stupid thing called formula feeding)

It seemed very funny to me that Dr. Newman himself chose to quote Antoine de Saint-Exupery, because when we talk about adults, and how important "numbers" are to them and how 'numbers' seem to amaze them, I could think of nobody else but the mention of it in Antoine de Saint-Exupery's book, The Little Prince.

Here it is:

"Grown-ups like numbers."

"If you tell grown-ups, "I saw a beautiful red brick house, with geraniums at the windows and doves on the roof...," they won't be able to imagine such a house. You have to tell them, "I saw a house worth a hundred thousand francs." Then they exclaim, "What a pretty house!"

So Dr.Newman's talk was aptly titled 'Numbers On Demand' to highlight how SO MANY ERRORS in breastfeeding are made due to people's obsession in defining breastfeeding according to the 'number' of so-and-so. For example, the baby's weight (the breastfed baby's supposed poor weight gain), the time length of a feeding on one breast, yadda yadda yadda.

Want a longer list of things adults will involve numbers and calculation with, in attempt to be 'scientific' and supposedly accurate about breastfeeding? Here it is:

1. Weighing machines/scales. Did you know they can be devastatingly INaccurate? And growth charts are based on formula-fed babies?

2.Weighing babies with their diapers on

3.Weighing babies who were just recently breastfed

4.Giving a time-frame to breastfeeding (babies should suckle for so-and-so number of minutes on each side)

5.Defining how much baby has drank by weighing him after he/she is breastfed and determining milk supply by such theory

6.The supposed frequency of initial breastfeeding (first few days) i.e every 3 hours, 2 hours, 4 hours, etc.

(Dr. Newman's talk and slides were in fact much, much more laden with info than this, but I am not able to transfer and digest absolutely everything. He also discussed jaundice in detail)

To almost all these factors which would result in a 'problem' for the breastfed baby, the solution was: to watch the baby (his chin, especially) while he/she is being nursed to determine whether he is actually drinking or not.

Thus, problems arise from poor breastfeeding practices. Not from breastmilk or breastfeeding itself. And poor breastfeeding can be corrected.

And, before jumping out to buy a can of formula, there are BETTER alternatives, number ONE being expressed breastmilk, especially via lactation aid (a small tube used near the breast, so that mother and baby are kept familiar with breastfeeding)

So among the things that we have achieved by being "modern, up-to-date with technology, and scientific" is, we have lost the ability to be natural: going back to fitrah (an Arabic word that could be used to mean natural).

Wouldn't you agree that our world has in fact become quite God-less and immoral? (People against God and religion are not welcomed to answer, thank you) Believing in God is a part of our nature. And Allah has also made breastfeeding a natural thing, so much so that Allah mentions in the Qur'an (in Surah Al-Baqarah, chapter 2, verse ). The same goes for natural birth (which includes drug-free labor pain management), Allah tells us how to manage labor pain by relating to us the birth of Isa a.s.

Dr. Newman said that there's MORE to breastfeeding than JUST breastmilk. Do you understand what I mean? Formula milk companies are claiming this and that about their milk, but feeding your child is not JUST about filling his gut and watching his 'meat' expand. (pardon the sarcasm)

Formula milk companies have to work so hard in brainwashing people into thinking how healthy, how much better, how beneficial their milk is (and not to mention how supposedly convenient it is) because in fact, FORMULA MILK CAN NEVER BE COMPARED TO BREASTMILK. Formula milk CAN NEVER become a substitute for breastmilk.

Formula milk companies fork out millions in marketing campaigns to brainwash you and exploit the modern educated women's "ignorance" about breastfeeding (I do not apologize for the pun) because they will rake in gadzillions of millions in consumer purchases, preying on ignorance! (and not to mention fear)

Part 1: Susu Ibu.com International Lactation Conference

Salam,

Alhamdulillah, Praises to Allah for giving me the opportunity to attend this conference. Since Day 1, I was nothing but amazed at the wealth of knowledge I was getting for the fee I paid (I am saying this because I rarely ever attend conferences, especially ones that cost over Rm15!)

And when I say wealth of knowledge, I really would like to highlight that the talks were in fact very, very informative (very, very detailed) and told by speakers who were very, very passionate about their subject.

Having said so, it would be somewhat impossible for me to include them all here (I don't intend to attempt doing so anyway) but I do intend to share the bits which were most meaningful to me; and I do mean bits ;-p

The following statement enlightened the darkness of my mind on the very last day, but seemed to makes most sense to me (originally related by one of the international speakers in her talk-Suzanne Cox*):

"For thousands of years, thousands of women were 'uneducated' (as opposed to modern women) and THEY breastfed successfully, but educated women of the 21st century in fact find it very hard to breastfeed!"

What does this mean? And what does this say about being 'educated' and 'modern education'?

To put it in a simple way, it is because breastfeeding ACTUALLY COMES QUITE NATURALLY and isn't rocket science. But breastfeeding became a thing of the past, because as the years go by; what used to be natural has been replaced by a 'new natural': what used to be the norm has been replaced by a new norm.

Suzanne Cox, Diana West and Dr. Jack Newman all breathed the same mantra: Breastfeeding used to be the norm; it was natural and there was never any other option and even when there was; bottle-feeding used to be AN OPTION; the unnatural thing to opt out for.

But the norm has changed now.

Because formula-feeding has become the norm and breastfeeding is as if the unnatural 'option'.

So women now choose to breastfeed or not; (and this is so sad) to the extent that advocators of breastfeeding need to stress and stress about "the benefits" of breastfeeding when in truth, there is NO BENEFIT to breastfeeding! (Yes, I was VERY appalled when Diana West said this)

There's only the IMPORTANCE  of breastfeeding and the RISKS of NOT BREASTFEEDING.

There is no 'benefit' or advantage of breastfeeding compared to formula feeding because formula feeding cannot compare to breastfeeding. It is NOT EQUAL in any way.

To me, there is a super-easy way to explain how these two practices cannot be compared and is in no way EVER similar. By asking this question: Can you create another human being?

Not by procreating, and not by making a robot or a wax statue, but actually create another human being.

I thought so.

So we can never 'create' a substitute of breastmilk to be given to infants. It cannot be compared to an original product and an imitation of it: it doesn't come any closer as the most 'human-looking' or 'human' robot or wax statue is to a human. It just isn't a human being!

Phew! With that out of my system, now I will start relating what I learned from Day 1:

...to be continued