Malaysia: Muslim Mothers living with Lovers

(For a similar article in Malay, please click here. Malay article is by a different author.)
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The Mind living on Junk Food

Two days ago I wrote an analysis about an incident in which a mother-daughter couple who were caught offering haram services and claiming that they use the money for good purposes, one of which is to supply food for masjid (link)

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For point number 3 and 4, I listed the root causes (real problem) of the incident as being a dangerous degree of ignorance and disease: the mind, spirit and soul being empty and/or denied the 'food' it deserves.

It should be described in such a simple, obvious manner because of its close resemblance to effects of daily and consistent consumption of only junk food: the health both your physical body and 'spiritual body' will start to deteriorate. The problem is, we could easily identify the illness of an unhealthy body, but rarely are we able to do the same attribution when it comes to the spirit or intellect (except in extreme cases such as serial murders, etc)

"We are not human beings on a spiritual journey, but we are spiritual beings on a human journey", so goes the saying which bears much truth in it. Sadly enough though, how many mothers, fathers, teachers, doctors, lawyers, etc are living by this concept and reminding others to live life accordingly?

Mothers, for example, would scold their children for having a poor diet of junk food, empty calories, excessive sugary snacks and drinks, etc. But how many mothers could identify that their own mind or their children's minds are 'living' on 'junk food'? And thus suffering from "illnesses" caused by their "poor diet"?

 

I am choosing to highlight this after two similar cases that have surfaced recently in the news: the case of Syafiyah Humairah (February 2010) and a more recent one (June 2010: link to newspaper report).

Besides the similarity in both cases being the children gets abused (sexually or otherwise), the other similarity is that the mothers (including her children, etc) are living with their lovers.

Often in news and articles, writers and religious figures are condemning the 'young and wild', often unmarried young muslim adults who succumb to drinking, illegal sex (zina), etc. Personally, especially since becoming a parent myself, I feel that mothers and fathers who are bad examples themselves are even worse harbingers of immorality in society because they are very influential figures of authority to their children.

Having said that, I must say that by 'harbingers of immorality' I did not merely mean the obvious 'immoral behaviour' such as drinking, womanizing, gambling, etc. Those habits are the presenting problem, if not the result of a much dire and substantial ill-health of the mind, spirit and/or soul.

We need a guideline to use to identify the presenting problems, as the symptoms of an ill mind. It is the causes of an "ill" mind that must be dealt with, since it leads to various behavioural problems, in turn affecting individuals, families, societies, economies, industries, nations, countries.

For example, the inability to control oneself (against getting involved with something in an excessive way) is attributed to weak will power. Perhaps not many are able to see the connection between will power and the spirit, the human soul. The spirit, unaided or aided very little or refused to be aided by knowledge, thus succumbing to fulfilling its' desires, no holds barred.

Sometimes news about maksiat does not surprise me very much, but the recent trend in the news reports being mothers living with their lovers, along with their children and even parent is somewhat highly shocking. To what extent has our fear of or obstinacy and arrogance towards Allah or ignorance has gone to, that more and more people are committing obvious sins in front of their children without an inch of guilt?

What kind of family, entertainment, education system, etc brought up such an individual?

Besides other factors like secularism in pedagogy and colonization, an individual's 'spiritual diet' ("healthy" or otherwise) contributes to the indifference towards what is considered illegal and prohibited by Allah.

Are they able to tell between what is right and what is wrong, and what are the factors that contribute to their clear guideline?

Does their spiritual diet consists of 'empty calories', 'excessive sugar and fat', junk food or, does it consists of the right balance of everything it needs?

Are they able to control their desires and make it submit itself to the guidelines?

What aids them in being able to control their desires better?

These, I feel, are the very basic questions that we need to answer and work hard on, to be part of the solution.

InshaAllah...

Starting slow, but starting nonetheless, with attempts to enlighten people to avoid either being consumers or contributors to 'junk food' of the mind, perhaps starting by slowly and patiently initially tapping into their minds with details of the Majesty of Allah, then very gradually moving on to revealing the "Furqan" to enable them to tell between 'junk food and a healthy diet' for their mind, soul and spirit. (Please refer to Mustafa Masyhur's 7 tahapan dakwah fardhiyyah).

The furqan being, very simple principles as they have been explained by Allah and His Prophet s.a.w (through the Qur'an and Hadiths), such as satisfying one's desires with no limitations at all, partaking in what Allah has prohibited, partaking in activities with no substantial benefit, partaking in gray areas which causes doubt and guilt, and many more.