Harapan Baru? Sorry. Not for me

Sebagai seorang anak "bukan ikhwah akhawat", pertama sekali saya bersyukur dan bertahmid. Kedua saya positif, kerana saya juga telah di didik supaya ada (gerakan) harapan baru. Ironically enough I think Allah has been trying to teach me this lesson for more than 10 years now, and I still couldn't get it until I recently became a single mom. An anxious, depressed, frustrated, lazy, single mom. Allah then took me out of the box of my comfort zone and reminded me;

I was not born into poverty, I was not born into a marginalized race, and many other was nots which I must be thankful for.

And again, the lesson has been repeated to me and for me because I didn't understand it the first time - reliance (harapan) is upon Allah. Not upon humans.

It does not mean we do not "need" other people nor do we discredit them for their deeds. But those like me who have been blessed in certain ways, fulfil the purpose of my creation in different or similar ways than another person; we're all here to walk together/ in paralell to the same destination. But reliance (harapan), is upon only Allah. Only Allah.

And never on anything else besides Allah. Not easy for me to remember.

Last year during my first trip to TOF @Twins of faith; as I was sitting alone moping in my own feelings and obviously not giving attention to the speaker, suddenly he said so loudly "Ask From Allah! I cannot help you!"

The lesson in it for me, that other humans are merely messengers as the special line of messengers had been (the Prophets). They are merely messengers. The message they bear is A message for YOU (or me) FROM ALLAH.

And that I must ask from Allah- and asking from man is merely an effort which is not wrong but RELIANCE (harapan) is on Allah and Allah only. NEVER on mankind to fulfil my need. Mankind is powerless. It's ok for me to make an effort, including great and hardworking effort even - but reliance and faith/belief in terms of its result and success is upon only Allah.

I hope I passed the course this time and can move onto the next level. Allah. How scary and challenging is that. Please pray for me.

Eid Mubarak, May Allah accept from us our deeds and from yours.