On Forgiveness and Forgiving

Points for me to ponder:

1. Express the feelings: It needs to be expressed, to the perpetrator, or someone else, or on a piece of paper (write it out and burn it, rip it, destroy it)

2. Giving meaning to the experience, i.e it happened to make me a better, smarter, stronger person or to help other people using what happened to us.

3. Gaining Acceptance. Accepting the change, the different situation(s). It is like a bitter medicine. This resolves frustration and anxiety.

4. Rebuild Safety: ensure it does not happen again.

5. Let go: Don't keep bringing it up. It's not about the person who did it to you. It's between you and Allah, and there is no much great rewards for forgiving. The emotions will not come up again.

Other benefits of Forgiving:

• Paradise! (hadeeth)
• Healthier body (no headaches, backaches, ulcers) (result of forgiveness training)
• More confident
• Heals relationships
• Less depression
• Lowers blood pressure

Other:

• We abuse ourself by dwelling in the incident! (replaying it in our mind)
• Try to overlook
• Don't nit-pick on people's short-comings