Flowers are red, leaves are green, yes?

pic taken from: http://flowersfreepictures.blogspot.com/2009/04/red-flowers.html

Have you ever felt that (by a certain action of yours) you are inhibiting your child's creativity and imagination and exploration of the world?

For example, one day as I was doing some coloring with my 2 year old (he will be 3 one month and a half), he wanted to colour the flowers green. I told him that the flowers are pink in colour (there was a small example of the flower in the same page) but I checked myself: what's so wrong about making them green? I have seen (real) green flowers before, and anyway there is nothing wrong if you like your flowers green.

That's just one example. He's only two years old. There's lots of things he doesn't know the consequence of, or in fact, the 'limit' of. Men who thought steel can never 'fly' never attempted such a 'crazy' idea; and today we have airplanes. What are your thoughts on this, mothers and fathers? How do we guide this unlimited creativity and imagination?

Q & A for SAHMS (Surirumah)

pic googled

The Questions And Answers

(Questions taken from an article titled 10 things never to say to a stay-at-home-mom)
(Answers reposted from Birth Without Fear - link to her facebook profile)

Q. When the kids are older, do you think you'll get a real job?

A. No, when my kids are older I'll finally be semi-retired. My job won't end until the day I die.

Q. How June Cleaver of you!
A. My name is January, please don't compare me to others.

Q. Oh, so you don't work?
A. I work 24/7 with no pay or vacation. You wouldn't last 3 days at my job.

Q. Since you have extra time on your hands, could you whip up a few dozen brownies for the bake sale tomorrow?
A. Actually, I could use some brownies. Since you have enough time to ask me and assume you know so much, can you whip up some dinner for my family? That way I can nurse the baby in peace just once today? Thanks! So thoughtful of you.

Q. All day with your kids? I can't even imagine.
A. Really? Well it's better than being around you all day...I like them...can't say the same for you anymore. Ya, it's hard, but they are awesome.

Q. I'm jealous. I wish my husband were rich so I wouldn't have to work either.
A. What impression did I give you that we are rich. You have no idea the sacrifices we make for me to be home. Think before speak.

Q. What do you do all day, anyway?
A. Raise my children to not be idiots to offset all the ones there already are...hint hint.

Q. I'm sure you're not the only one who's ever wasted money on a college degree.
A. Apparently education and common sense don't come from a college degree. Thanks for proving that.

Q. That explains why your son is so clingy!
A. That explains why my son freakin' adores me so much!

Q. Weird. I assumed your house would be superclean.
A. Weird, I thought you were just leaving.

Read more: http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/g/a/2011/05/31/hearstmagfamily5277360.DTL#ixzz1P1oaDau9

Solat sambil dukung anak

picture from Ummu Muhammad's blog

It was Zainab's child! :-)

Hadis Nabi shallallahu 'alayhi wa sallam solat sambil mendukung cucunya itu: Hadis ini diriwayatkan dengan jalan periwayatan yang banyak. Antara lafaz yang ada: 'Nabi shallallahu 'alayhi wa sallam bersolat sambil mendukung Umamah anak kepada Zainab bint Rasulullah shallallahu 'alayhi wa sallam dan Abu al-'Ash bin ar-Rabi' bin Abd Syams. Apabila Baginda shallallahu 'alayhi wa sallam bersujud, Baginda akan meletakkannya, dan apabila Baginda bangun, Baginda mendukungnya semula.' (diriwayatkan oleh al-Bukhari dan Muslim)

A simple, yet essential communication skill : Validation

To validate someone's feelings is first to accept someone's feelings. Next, it is to understand them, and finally it is to nurture them.

To validate is to acknowledge and accept one's unique identity and individuality.

Invalidation, on the other hand, is to reject, ignore, or judge their feelings, and hence, their individual identity.

When we validate someone, we allow them to safely share their feelings and thoughts. We are reassuring them that it is okay to have the feelings they have. We are demonstrating that we will still accept them after they have shared their feelings. We let them know that we respect their perception of things at that moment. We help them feel heard, acknowledged, understood and accepted.

Sometimes validation entails listening, sometimes it is a nod or a sign of agreement or understanding, sometimes it can be a hug or a gentle touch. Sometimes it means being patient when the other person is not ready to talk.
…
Validation allows a person to release their feelings in a healthy, safe and supportive way. It also helps us get to know them better. Thus it builds bonds of caring, support, acceptance, understanding and trust. When a person is feeling down, these bonds are sometimes all that another person needs to begin to feel better and solve their own problems.
…
By validating someone we demonstrate that we care and that their feelings matter to us-- in other words, that they matter to us. By "mirroring" someone's feelings, we show them that we are in tune with them. We feel connected with them and they feel connected with us.

taken from: http://eqi.org/valid.htm

How language and the media is (mis)used as tools for propaganda

"Chomsky, Solomom, Ackerman, and many others. Even the Jews are speaking out against the Israeli occupation of Palestine" - The late Yasmin Ahmad


reposted from the late yasmin ahmad's blog

Favourite Excerpts : Addiction to BIRTHING!

excerpt 1


Of course, women who need medical intervention should have the best that can be provided; intervention saves lives. But some 75-80 per cent of births should go as smoothly as nature intended. 

The problem is that just a fraction of the number of women who don’t have a medical requirement for intervention are getting to the finish line without being subjected to meddling from midwives and doctors. 

Meddling that supersedes a woman’s own desires and instincts, and impairs her body’s ability to cope as it is designed to do. 

Under normal conditions, a woman is best left to be her own director, behaving in an instinctive and uninhibited way. Only when that is allowed to happen will she get the rush of Mother Nature’s feel-good cocktail: a hormone boost designed specifically to flood her body with exactly what it needs — not just to get her through every stage of labour, but to ensure that she won’t find the process so physically and mentally difficult that she never does it again.

Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-1393248/The-birth-junkies-An-agonising-ordeal-No-says-maternity-expert-NICOLE-CROFT-giving-birth-natural-high-powerful-leave-mothers-addicted.html#ixzz1OKW33xEN

excerpt 2

We were designed for this, and we deserve to be rewarded with the natural high that obstetrician and mother of four home-birth children, Dr Sarah Buckley, describes as Mother Nature’s ‘pat on the back’.

Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-1393248/The-birth-junkies-An-agonising-ordeal-No-says-maternity-expert-NICOLE-CROFT-giving-birth-natural-high-powerful-leave-mothers-addicted.html#ixzz1OKWKUDk6

excerpt 3

if you mention oxytocin to most women who have given birth in a UK hospital, they will think of it as a drug, administered by drip, to speed along her contractions.In fact, in its natural form, it is the ‘love hormone’ — the same one that floods our brains during orgasm, and is also boosted by cuddling, breastfeeding and other positive, loving experiences. 

We produce it naturally in massive quantities during labour and birth, and its effects cannot be artificially replicated. 

This wonderful stuff reduces fear, increases trust and promotes a sense of connectedness with those around you. There is nothing like it for making a woman feel that everything is in her control and that everyone is on her side.

Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-1393248/The-birth-junkies-An-agonising-ordeal-No-says-maternity-expert-NICOLE-CROFT-giving-birth-natural-high-powerful-leave-mothers-addicted.html#ixzz1OKWZMq2e

excerpt 4

It is also what gives a new mother that ‘loved-up’ feeling after the birth, helping any memories of pain or anxiety to fade almost immediately. 

It is a primal reaction that when our adrenaline levels rise, labour halts, because our brain is telling our body that it’s not safe to proceed. By counteracting fear, oxytocin keeps adrenaline levels in check, which ensures that labour progresses steadily. 

What’s more, as a pheromone, oxytocin is contagious, transmitted through the air and picked up by the nose. Studies have shown that when a father attends the birth of his child, his oxytocin levels rise as well, making him part of the love-in and — importantly — more ready to connect with his child

Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-1393248/The-birth-junkies-An-agonising-ordeal-No-says-maternity-expert-NICOLE-CROFT-giving-birth-natural-high-powerful-leave-mothers-addicted.html#ixzz1OKWsVTDl


excerpt 5

Endorphins are 500 times stronger than morphine. They improve your mood and, most incredibly, have amnesiac qualities, which is why as birth progresses, a woman should feel increasingly ‘away with the fairies’.

Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-1393248/The-birth-junkies-An-agonising-ordeal-No-says-maternity-expert-NICOLE-CROFT-giving-birth-natural-high-powerful-leave-mothers-addicted.html#ixzz1OKX5MPex

excerpt 6

After a totally natural birth, it is often very difficult to remember the specifics of it, and that’s the way it should be. 

It’s also why a lot of women will often say that — much to their surprise — the earlier part of their labour was more difficult than the later parts, when they were much more ‘out of it’ and more flooded with endorphins. 

And it’s the reason why inductions are generally harder to cope with, because they artificially accelerate the labour process, hitting the mother with back-to-back contractions, before the body has had time to produce sufficient quantities of hormones and natural pain relief.

Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-1393248/The-birth-junkies-An-agonising-ordeal-No-says-maternity-expert-NICOLE-CROFT-giving-birth-natural-high-powerful-leave-mothers-addicted.html#ixzz1OKXNAyoa

excerpt 7

Perhaps I sound crazy, perhaps I sound high, but I have seen enough births to know that no one knows better than Mother Nature.

Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-1393248/The-birth-junkies-An-agonising-ordeal-No-says-maternity-expert-NICOLE-CROFT-giving-birth-natural-high-powerful-leave-mothers-addicted.html#ixzz1OKXdH7RU

my note: NO ONE KNOWS BETTER THAN ALLAH WHO CREATED AND DESIGNED THE FEMALE BODY.

Reflections on Asbab: Tadabur mengenai Asbab

As I was going through some of my old sent messages to delete them, I found one in which I was relating to a friend that Allah doesn't need anything to 'make' or 'take' something.

For example, Allah made Maryam pregnant, without having to be impregnanted by a man (which is part of the natural law Allah made). Other examples include how Maryam was provided with out-of-season fruits without (or before the innovation of) refridgerators and courier companies, and Muhammad Rasulullah's journey from Makkah to Jerusalem and beyond without (or before the innovation of) cars, bullet trains, aeroplanes, space ships, etc.

To me this is an interesting topic to discuss because sometimes when I try to solve something, I often forget just how much Allah is 'involved' in it, and that whatever I do is merely to show Allah that I am putting in my efforts (to follow the natural laws He has set). And yet sometimes only when I am not able to solve something, only then do I turn to Allah- sometimes to the extent of 'hoping for a miracle'- because of the knowledge that Allah needs not any of my efforts to make or take something, He can just do it.

As humans, when we fail to solve or achieve something, we would wail: Why doesn't Allah make it happen? He has all the power to do so, so why doesn't He? or in contrary: Why did He make it happen? Why did He take it away?

How do you resolve these questions? Care to share?