Mardhiyah

I want my former freedom
To write what I want, where I want

Mardhiyah
I am desperate for you to love me
To help me
To pull me away from my miseries

Mardhiyah
but you are not me
and I am not you

You have never walked the dark alleys
a stench
a pain
I carry hidden and sleeping
until you
you opened it last night

Mardhiyah
I wish it was as easy as an answer from you
Am I desperate, Mardhiyah, tell me?

I don't hate you
I am ungrateful

I need to look at those beneath me

Mardhiyah
My ghosts
They quieted down

And now I hear their voices again....................

Coping

I know I’m waiting

Waiting for something

Something to happen to me

But this waiting comes with

Trials and challenges

Nothing in life is free

I wish that somehow

You’d tell me out aloud

That on that day I’ll be ok

But we’ll never know cause

That’s not the way it works

Help me find my way

My Lord show me right from wrong

Give me light make me strong

I know the road is long

Make me strong

Sometimes it just gets too much

I feel that I’ve lost touch

I know the road is long

Make me strong

I know I’m waiting

Yearning for something

Something known only to me

This waiting comes with

Trials and challenges

Life is one mystery

I wish that somehow

You’d tell me out aloud

That on that day you’ll forgive me

But we’ll never know cause

That’s not the way it works

I beg for your mercy

My Lord show me right from wrong

Give me light make me strong

I know the road is long

Make me strong

Sometimes it just gets too much

I feel that I’ve lost touch

I know the road is long

Make me strong

Coping 2

Kertas putih salju
Ku coretkan kedukaanku
Hitam dan kelabu
Adalah warna dalam hidupku

Kejutkanlah aku kawan
Aku sedang bermimpi
Kejutkanlah aku
Yang sengsara dalam mimpi

Gementar kakiku
Meniti titian usang
Berdegup jantungku
Apakah dapat ku ke seberang

Sambutlah tanganku kawan
Aku takut tenggelam
Sambutlah tanganku kawan
Jurangnya sangat dalam

Jurangnya sangat mengerikan
Ramai yang telah kecundang
Dia sedang menunggu
Untuk memimpimku
Di seberang sana
Adanya cahaya

Coping

The earth is hard,
Soil is cracked,
bleached and blistered.
Trees bend, withered and weary.
Ground gasps, dusty and dry.

Allah hears and the rain comes
wetting and washing the world,
Flushing and flooding the clay,
Spilling and splashing,
Life returns.

Allahu Akbar! (Allah is great!)

We are the cracked earth,
The thirsty, dirty spirit of man.
If we gasp, we will be heard.
Forgiveness falls like rain on our hands.

Allah hears and the rain comes
Wetting and washing the world,
Flushing and flooding the clay,
Spilling and splashing,
Life returns.

Allahu Akbar! (Allah is great!)

Coping Mechanism

Morning light through the bedroom window.
Slow motion dust specks swirling in the sun.
I close my eyes,
and I'm floating along.
Sun - did you warm the face of the
Prophet
the way you warm mine and make
this room glow?
Dust - were you brushed from the
beard of the Prophet,
Returning from Jihad, so long ago?
Allahumma Salli `alaa Muhammad
Yaa Rabba-l `aalamiin
Allahumma Salli `alaa Muhammad
Sallallaahu `alaihi wa salam
Rain pouring down upon my garden,
rhythm for the wind that sings his song.
I close my eyes and I'm drumming along.
Rhythm of rain - were you once a river,
that purified the Prophet before his prayers?
Wind - were you a breath form the
lips of the Prophet
carrying wisdom to thirsty ears?
Allahumma Salli `alaa Muhammad
Yaa Rabba-l `aalamiin
Allahumma Salli `alaa Muhammad
Sallallaahu `alaihi wa salam
Sharp, clear crescent, light in the blue night.
Slipping in silence through a star scattered sky.
I close my eyes
and I know that I belong.
Were you the same moon that lit
the way of the Prophet,
slipping through the desert on his Hijrah?
Stars did you map the way to Madinah,
for the blessed Messenger of Allah?
Allahumma Salli `alaa Muhammad
Yaa Rabba-l `aalamiin
Allahumma Salli `alaa Muhammad
Sallallaahu `alaihi wa salam
I close my eyes,
and I'm floating along.
I close my eyes and I'm drumming a song.
I close my eyes and I know that I belong.