Looking at the sky makes me want to cry coz do I ever try to fly high enough to reach You?

Thursday, July 31, 2014

Beliefs in parenting




I have a really big mission in this life. My mission in this life, is to give the syahadah "La ilaha ilallah" the value it deserves. All that i do, is done in attempt to try to achieve this mission. I don't always succeed. I am imperfect. 

Being a mother and moulding my children (mendidik, menjaga, mengasuh) is one of those things that I take very, very seriously. It is one of those things that there exists no "give and take" for me. It is one of those areas in life in which I can be called extreme (arabic word: syadid). 

Yes, i am very strict or "syadid" or "extreme". The reason is because, i am fully aware of how "clean" children are. They are purely clean white sheets which we may design any way we like. 

I don't claim to have perfect knowledge but what i do have is some deep-rooted and researched beliefs which i translate into rules for myself and my children. Every parent is given the full freedom to design these rules/system to which their family and children will live by. And so i have formulated some of mine. 

Some people may think my rules are cruel or totally rubbish. To that i say, to each is his own. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. People are different and think and perceive differently. You will have to answer for your own deeds to Allah, and I will have to answer for mine. 

Therefore, i cannot tolerate at all with people's deeds which i feel are interfering with my design on the white sheets under my care. You may have your own beliefs, and I have mine. This does not mean i will unfriend you, this only means i respect our differences and i would like you to also to observe the same. I don't judge you for your beliefs so don't interfere with mine. Because we all answer for our own deeds. 

But i think i can fall into extremism. Because i take parenting too seriously. I think i just might root out from my path, those who i feel is imposing too much interference. 

However, i feel that it is better to communicate and try to arrive at an agreement / meeting point then to resort to extremism. I feel that it is better to AGREE TO DISAGREE and keep good relations with each other. 

My conclusion is simple, i respect our differences so please do the same. Don't impose your beliefs on me and i don't try to do the same to you. Don't impose your beliefs on MY CHILDREN just because you don't share my beliefs. Don't try to overrule my position as a parent to my children. Please respect this boundary.