to read

http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-legacy-distorted-love/201202/the-legacy-distorted-love-post-romantic-stress

http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-legacy-distorted-love/201205/it-s-all-about-me-recovery-adult-children-narcissist

http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/healthy-connections/201005/the-right-healthy-relationship

http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-legacy-distorted-love/201105/the-narcissistic-family-tree

http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-legacy-distorted-love/201104/are-you-plagued-self-doubt

Healing

link: http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-legacy-distorted-love/201209/shaming-children-is-emotionally-abusive

1.Adult children raised by narcissistic parents frequently tell similar childhood stories of shame and humiliation. 

2.“ Wherever I look, I see signs of the commandment to honor one’s parents and nowhere of a commandment that calls for the respect of a child.”

3.Children respect those who respect them. 

4.Often these shaming acts take place in front of other people. Treating children badly and without respect is not the golden rule for parenting, but why do we see this so often?

5.When the family gets together, he loudly announces the wrong doings of his children, with no insight to the damage it does. The children stand listening with eyes cast downward. Is it any wonder that young people in these situations grow into adults with self-doubt, depression and anxiety?

6.It is an expectation that the parent will provide safety, protection, acceptance,understanding and empathy. 

7.When children are emotionally or psychologically abused, they grow up feeling unloved, unwanted, and fearful. Normal development is interrupted and it sends the wounded child into exile. 

8.When we talk about disrespectful children, we must look at parenting

9.Solid parenting shows children respect and empathy. When a parent truly gives respect to a child, they receive it back. 

10.Make the commitment to never shame a child. Treat children like you want to be treated.

Feelings

I am afraid to show my emotions, I have not learnt to communicate my feelings effectively or how to deal with people's reactions and feelings in an effective manner. 

So teach me with kindness. What have you got to lose? 

movement for kids

1. movement & brain
2. movement & learning
3. movement & nature


http://www.washingtonpost.com/blogs/answer-sheet/wp/2014/07/08/why-so-many-kids-cant-sit-still-in-school-today/

Ironically, many children are walking around with an underdeveloped vestibular (balance) system today–due to restricted movement. In order to develop a strong balance system, children need to move their body in all directions, for hours at a time. Just like with exercising, they need to do this more than just once-a-week in order to reap the benefits. Therefore, having soccer practice once or twice a week is likely not enough movement for the child to develop a strong sensory system.

Children are going to class with bodies that are less prepared to learn than ever before. With sensory systems not quite working right, they are asked to sit and pay attention. Children naturally start fidgeting in order to get the movement their body so desperately needs and is not getting enough of to “turn their brain on.” What happens when the children start fidgeting? We ask them to sit still and pay attention; therefore, their brain goes back to “sleep.”

They need hours of play outdoors in order to establish a healthy sensory system and to support higher-level attention and learning

Chicken

Dear village member 

Hey how're you doin? Didja know I'm a TESL grad and not a usul Fiqh or dinniyah or Al qur'an and Sunnah grad? 

Yeah just wanted to make sure you know that about me. 

Because I want to say this to you. I hope in some weird way Allah will make you read this .

Did you know that there is no sarcasm / cynicism between the inhabitants /dwellers of Allah's Jannah? 

Hey I don't know about your side of the grass but I bet it's got problems like everyone else. 

I bet you're plagued with fatigue and stress and all that's worth of this journey called dunya. 

I don't know what you've been through in life which has made you seem so sarcastic and cynical if not bitter- seeming in your online presence, but as I'm sure you'd want to aim for Jannah as the rest of us, 

Do you think you can tone down the sarcasm and cynicism down a tad? 

What do you get from it? 

Incentives? 

Relief?

Food? 

Any kind of positive reimbursement? 

No, right? 

So? 

Why not choose to be less cynical, arrogant and all high and mighty because you work your ass off for all the hard work you try to do everyday and simply answer a question with a kind one instead of a cynical sarcastic one. 

Yours truly, 

Your imperfect village member who won't send this in a pm to you coz she's too chicken so she posted it as her status instead. 

Signed again as, 

Imperfect human being. 

being positive

Re-quoted from sister yasmin mujahid:

The truth is, when we thought we were looking for a good husband or a good wife or a good job or a lot of money or a lot of fame, we were really just looking for God. So it’s no wonder that we got disappointed when the husband, the wife, the job, the money or the fame didn’t fill our need—or our emptiness.

Even that emptiness itself was created for a purpose: To drive us to fill it. The problem is we try to fill it with the wrong things. Everything inside us was created to enable our journey to find the true fill, to find Him. Ironically even shaytan and the nafs—if reacted to correctly—can become a means to reach Him. Shaytan and the nafs are our enemies. True. But how can we protect ourselves from them? Can the people help? Can money help? Can worldly power or weapons help protect us from our greatest enemies? Where is the *only* shelter from both shaytan and our nafs? The only shelter is in Allah. It’s like sending a storm to push us to the only refuge. To push us to Him (azza wa jal).

Note:
Life's great when the worst of the worst is meant to push me to Allah. If even the worst of happenings means - even if I don't feel like I deserve Jannah, but at least I still have a small tiny minuscule feeling of being loved and seen by Allah. He created me and He loves me. He created me and He loves me. I just need to learn how to love Him with more fierceness. Knowing me, yes I will use the word fierce. And the word adequacy. I have to keep fighting and learning how to love Allah with adequate fierceness of a slave to her Creator. Ana uhibbukun, akhowati.

the cave

How much of the truth can you handle 

tag

Allah save me
wonderful journey
55:60
19:64
Allah provides, not man

:)

http://youtu.be/SH9MAhDvNjo

http://youtu.be/jY8T1kjk3ms

http://youtu.be/L2IytRZdC18

wonderful journey called life

seemed as if
I waited all my teenage hood for you

it was only a year or two or three

wonderful journey

no longer in love

now learning to love

a love I lost

learning who have I become

Learning to know my son again

the son, the child I have waited all my life to meet

I have waited to meet him more than you

because he will forever be part of me

unlike you

wonderful journey

musa

we're on a journey little boy

take ummi's hand, boy

let's go

http://youtu.be/DP6kPVvIEC0

2

where i'm going

you're not going

end of story

walk away

"Walk Away"

There's a river of tears i need to cry
Been holding back for years
There's a mountain so high i need to climb
To wipe away the fears
Solitude and loneliness have been a friend of mine
As i'm turning my back on emptiness
I leave them all behind 

Who knows just where i'm going
Does tomorrow belong to me 

[Chorus:]
Walk away this time with my head up high
Walk away just me and myself
Walk away with pride
Nothing left to hide
But it just feels right to be one
And just walk away 

I could never forget how hard I tried
When we were oh so young
Just one tender moment I cannot find
Maybe I had none 

Strength will be by my side
Although I feel afraid
But I know it's too late for this goodbye
There's nothing left to say 

Who knows just where I'm going
Does tomorrow belong to me 

[Chorus]

Walk away this time with my head up high
Walk away just me and myself
Walk away with pride
Nothing left to hide
But it just feels right to be one
And just walk away this time
One day you'll realize 
That the tears you saw in my eyes 
Won't be there forever 

[Chorus to fade]

Dear village members

Dear village members, 

You can count on me as long as I can cluck up the money, if money is what it needs, time, if time is what it needs, energy, if energy is what it needs. Whatever it is that you need. 

Sometimes I feel that I am disappointed, but then I try to remind myself to expect from Allah and not from my village members. Because Allah is King and I am slave. Allah provides, not man. 

Allah provides, not man. 

Dear me, 

Allah provides, not man. 

Allah, save me. 

Needing to be muslim

I saw a video about Mexican Drug Cartels
and it made me think,
the world needs me to be muslim.

The world needs me and my kids to be muslim
while people make dirty jokes
while people watch idola kecil
while people watch korean soaps
while people are busy chatting in yahoo chatrooms
while people are busy judging other people's looks and lives
while people are busy being male chauvinists

I don't care
yes, it makes me hell angry
at the same time the world needs me to be muslim.

sigh.

here i am

here i am
you're here

i'm here with the baby
at the edge of the cliff
let him talk to me
and i'll jump

straight to You

weak and broken

i'm weak and broken
but Allah gives me chances
that's all that matters

I know it hurts

Fragile
vulnerable
yet you cannot stay under your rock
you cannot stay under the blankets

so you put yourself under the sun
nobody sees you melting
you're breaking into pieces inside
someone didn't get the email
and you're hurt

all you need
is someone to lay a hand on you
while you cry
and hear them say
"i know it hurts"

hear them say
"it's ok to feel vulnerable"
"it's ok to feel fragile"
"you're only human"

you face the heat of the sun
you melt
nobody sees it

but it's ok
Nobody's out to get you
Allah pulls all the strings
to show you He is King
and you are slave.....

I saved the world today- eurythmics

Monday finds you like a bomb
That's been left ticking there too long
You're bleeding
Some days there's nothing left to learn
From the point of no return
You're leaving

Hey Hey I saved the world today
Everybody's happy now
The bad thing's gone away
And everybody's happy now
The good thing's here to stay
Please let it stay

There's a million mouths to feed
And I've got everything I need
I'm breathing
And there's a hurting thing inside
But I've got everything to hide
I'm grieving

Hey Hey I saved the world today
Everybody's happy now
The bad thing's gone away
And everybody's happy now
The good thing's here to stay
Please let it stay

Let it stay
Let it stay
Doo Doo Doo Doo Doo the good thing

English

I just realized that you're right

I do switch to english when I'm angry 

I do switch to English when I'm pissed

Is it because I use it to look down on people? 

I hope not 

I use it because it is the language of my heart 

Ofcourse I wish it is arabic 

But it is english

What do you mean business saja2? 

Did you ask me if I'm doing business saja2 or not? 

Did you ask me why I'm doing it? 

Yep. You didn't.

So you have no right to say I'm doing "business saja2".

You stepped on my toes and I forgive you. 

being human

people flip sometimes
you don't know?

impromptu

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9D7ultFfoiM

being imperfect

"The Reason" - hoobastank

I'm not a perfect person
There's many things I wish I didn't do
But I continue learning
I never meant to do those things to you
And so I have to say before I go
That I just want you to know

I've found a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
and the reason is you

I'm sorry that I hurt you
It's something I must live with everyday
And all the pain I put you through
I wish that I could take it all away
And be the one who catches all your tears
Thats why I need you to hear

I've found a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
and the reason is You

and the reason is You [x3]

I'm not a perfect person
I never meant to do those things to you
And so I have to say before I go
That I just want you to know

I've found a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
and the reason is you

I've found a reason to show
A side of me you didn't know
A reason for all that I do
And the reason is you

animal instinct

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ky4CdN0x58A

Suddenly something has happened to me
As I was having my cup of tea
Suddenly I was feeling depressed
I was utterly and totally stressed
Do you know you made me cry
Do you know you made me die

And the thing that gets to me
Is you'll never really see
And the thing that freaks me out
Is I'll always be in doubt
It is a lovely thing that we have
It is a lovely thing that we
It is a lovely thing, the animal
The animal instinct

So take my hands and come with me
We will change reality
So take my hands and we will pray
They won't take you away
They will never make me cry, no
They will never make me die

And the thing that gets to me
Is you'll never really see
And the thing that freaks me out
Is I'll always be in doubt

The animal, the animal, the animal instinct in me
It's the animal, the animal, the animal instinct in me
It's the animal, it's the animal, it's the animal instinct in me [x2]

only until tomorrow

"You Can Still Be Free" - savage garden

Cool breeze and autumn leaves
Slow motion daylight 
A lone pair of watchful eyes 
Oversee the living 
Feel the presence all around 
A tortured soul 
A wound unhealing 
No regrets or promises 
The past is gone 
But you can still be free 
If time will set you free 
Time now to spread your wings 
To take to flight 
The life endeavour 
Aim for the burning sun 
You're trapped inside 
But you can still be free 
If time will set you free 
But it's a long long way to go 

Keep moving way up high 
You see the light 
It shines forever 
Sail through the crimson skies 
The purest light 
The light that sets you free 
If time will set you free 

Sail through the wind and rain tonight
You're free to fly tonight 
And you can still be free 
If time will set you free 
And going higher than the mountain tops 
And go high like the wind don't stop 
And go high 
Free to fly tonight 
Free to fly tonight

the walls are closing in on me

"Crash And Burn" - savage garden

When you feel all alone
And the world has turned its back on you
Give me a moment please to tame your wild wild heart
I know you feel like the walls are closing in on you
It's hard to find relief and people can be so cold
When darkness is upon your door and you feel like you can't take anymore

Let me be the one you call
If you jump I'll break your fall
Lift you up and fly away with you into the night
If you need to fall apart
I can mend a broken heart
If you need to crash then crash and burn
You're not alone

When you feel all alone
And a loyal friend is hard to find
You're caught in a one way street
With the monsters in your head
When hopes and dreams are far away and
You feel like you can't face the day

Let me be the one you call
If you jump I'll break your fall
Lift you up and fly away with you into the night
If you need to fall apart
I can mend a broken heart
If you need to crash then crash and burn
You're not alone

'Cause there has always been heartache and pain
And when it's over you'll breathe again
You'll breath again

When you feel all alone
And the world has turned its back on you
Give me a moment please
To tame your wild wild heart

Let me be the one you call
If you jump I'll break your fall
Lift you up and fly away with you into the night
If you need to fall apart
I can mend a broken heart
If you need to crash then crash and burn
You're not alone

hold an old friend's hand: tiffany

Another year and I'm still here
The grass just will not grow on this old hill
Still I just can't let it go,
I don't believe it's cause I'm cold
Or partial to the crazy life I'm caught in
Sometimes I fell the hand of time
Moving like its body was broke
And it's then I miss your sighs
And the tender words you spoke

Hey, that's okay - come on around and get yourself together
Won't you come on around and hold an old friend's hand
Babe, I promise not to throw you
You don't have to stay, I just want to hold you
Won't you come on around
And hold an old friend's hand

Another year is dead and gone
The sun don't want to shine on this old hill
Or anything that's mine
I don't believe it hurts to grow
Even when the crop you sow is a failure
Sometimes I wish I had no pride
I'd go off and sell my soul
But how do you say goodbye
To the only truth you've known

Hey, that's okay - come on around and get yourself together
Won't you come on around and hold an old friend's hand
Baby baby, I promise not to throw you
You don't have to stay, I just want to hold you
Won't you come on around
And hold an old friend's hand

Oh babe, honey everybody makes mistakes
We feel a lot of life that way
Don't you think by now I know that?
Look what's brought us both back
Now - while the leaves still dance on the wind
While the moon and the clouds come spinning
Will you whisper my name again?
Again and again and again

Hey, that's okay - come on around and get yourself together
Won't you come on around and hold an old friend's hand
Around and around with you I've been
Flat on the ground and up again
Nobody know for sure just when
Everything changes

the winding road. leads me to Allah. c'est la vie...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-3DTvaUyvcY

true colors...

survivor
...

Now that you're out of my life
I'm so much better
You thought that I'd be weak without you 
But I'm stronger
You thought that I'd be broke without you 
But I'm richer
You thought that I'd be sad without you
I laugh harder
You thought I wouldn't grow without you 
Now I'm wiser
Though that I'd be helpless without you 
But I'm smarter
You thought that I'd be stressed without you 
But I'm chillin'
You thought I wouldn't sell without you 
Sold 9 million

I'm a survivor (What?)
I'm not gon give up (What?)
I'm not gon stop (What?)
I'm gon work harder (What?)
I'm a survivor (What?)
I'm gonna make it (What?)
I will survive (What?)
Keep on survivin' (What?)

I'm a survivor (What?)
I'm not gon give up (What?)
I'm not gon stop (What?)
I'm gon work harder (What?)
I'm a survivor (What?)
I'm gonna make it (What?)
I will survive (What?)
Keep on survivin' (What?)

Thought I couldn't breathe without
I'm inhaling
You thought I couldn't see without you
Perfect vision
You thought I couldn't last without you
But I'm lastin'
You thought that I would die without you 
But I'm livin'
Thought that I would fail without you 
But I'm on top
Thought it would be over by now
But it won't stop
Thought that I would self destruct 
But I'm still here
Even in my years to come
I'm still gon be here

I'm a survivor (What?)
I'm not gon give up (What?)
I'm not gon stop (What?)
I'm gon work harder (What?)
I'm a survivor (What?)
I'm gonna make it (What?)
I will survive (What?)
Keep on survivin' (What?)

I'm a survivor (What?)
I'm not gon give up (What?)
I'm not gon stop (What?)
I'm gon work harder (What?)
I'm a survivor (What?)
I'm gonna make it (What?)
I will survive (What?)
Keep on survivin' (What?)

.....

It's not right 
But it's okay 
I'm gonna make it anyway

Thoreau

sunshine dust lyrics

Morning light through the bedroom window
Slow motion dust specks swirling in the sun
I close my eyes, and I'm floating along.
Sun did you warm the face of the Prophet
The way you warm mine, and make this room glow.
Dust were you brushed from the beard of the Prophet,
Coming from Jihad so long ago.

CHORUS:
Allah humma Salli Ala Muhammad
Ya Rabbal Alameen
Allah humma Salli Ala Muhammad
Salallahu Alayhi Wa Sallam

Rain pouring down upon my garden.
Rhythm of the rain that sings its song.
I close my eyes, and I'm floating along.
Rhythm of rain were you once a river,
That purified the Prophet before his prayers.
Were you the same breath from the lips of the Prophet,
Carrying wisdom to thirsty ears?

CHORUS

Sharp clear crescent, lighting the blue night
Slipping in silence through the star scattered sky
I close my eyes, and I know that I belong.
Were you the same moon who lit the way of the Prophet,
Slipping through the desert on his Hijrah.
Stars did you map the way to Madinah
For the blessed Messenger of Allah?

CHORUS

And I close my eyes, and I'm floating along.
And I close my eyes, and I'm drumming along.
And I close my eyes, and I know that I belong.

the prophet's hands by dawud ali

Holding to the wheel, each mile closer to conclusion.
His knuckles and his strands of hair are slowly turning white.
As he studies all the lines, like highways on his hands,
he recalls how straight the road once seemed, as he is left wondering what’s right.
The paths all curve and bend, sometimes he thinks they’ll never end.
How much longer will he push on? How much more can he pretend?

:love: 
The Prophet’s hands, silken smooth and soft to touch,
sometimes he needs those hands so much,
to feel them clasp his own, let him now he’s not alone.
The Prophet’s hands, If they could take over the reigns,
if they could take away the strains,
guide him to the end with the patience of a friend.
Oh Allah, sometimes he needs the prophet’s hands.

:love:
Stepping out to work each day, come whatever weather.
Father of the house he holds worry in his hands.
While she stays home left all alone, hands warn from too much ironing,
T.V. churns out but illusions....claims to know but hardly understands.
They greet but hardly meet, upon an endless dead-end street,
while children break the stormy silence of the palms raised in defeat.

:love:
The Prophet’s hands, silken smooth and soft to touch,
sometimes they need those hands so much,
to feel them clasp their own, let them know they’re not alone.
The Prophet’s hands, can bind husband and wife,
remind them why they share a life,
clasp them both upon his heart, gently help them make a start
to hold each other as they’d hold the Prophet’s hands.

:love:
Standing in the market square, so alive but void of life.
We work and we sweat and we struggle through each day.
As our efforts scar our hands, this world stains us with demands.
It’s hard to see life’s humour in the business games we play.
As we gnaw our nails with stress, our fists and hearts pound so carelessly.
With every effort forward, how much more can we digress?

:love:
The Prophet’s hands, silken smooth and soft to touch,
sometimes we needs those hands so much,
to feel them clasp our own, let us know we’re not alone.
The Prophet’s hands, as we toil in the square, come up behind us unaware.
Playful palms across our eyes, teasing to help us realize,
We need the jesting, joking, calming Prophet’s hands.

:love:
The Prophet’s hands,
silken smooth and soft to touch
sometimes we needs those hands so much,
to feel them clasp our own and let us know we’re not alone.
The Prophet’s hands, If they could take over the reigns,
if they could take away the strains,
guide us to the end with the patience of a friend.

:love:
Oh Allah, sometimes we need the Prophet’s hands.
Oh Allah, sometimes we need the Prophet’s hands.
Oh Allah, sometimes we miss the Prophet’s hands.